Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Fast food is the main cause of childhood obesity and therefore should be banned completely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fast food is the main cause of childhood obesity and therefore should be banned completely. lLb6Q
Nowadays, obesity in children is happening a lot and is a dangerous problem. Although some people say that junk food is the main reason of child obesity and should be prohibited in near future, I believe there are lots of cause for this situation. There are a few key reasons why people hold the view that fast food is dangerous for kids. To begin with, in fast food contains a large amount of fat, and that is also the cause of numerous diseases such as obesity or heart disease. Research have shown that in the process of preparing food, it is necessary to fry lots of cooking oil, which stimulates children’s appetite and make them always want to eat junk food. When kids eat too much fast food and do not have a process of burning calories, the amount of fat will lead to disease. Furthermore, numerous advertisements with attractive images but lack of information about nutrition lists appear a lot in the media. Because children are curious, they will ask for fast food a lot. The government should have policies to limit this issue. While some may claim that fast food is the major source of obesity, I maintain that there are more reasons. Firstly, parents do not pay close attention to the process of receiving food and daily exercise for children. Lack of doing exercise, so the calories in the body can not be burned and some muscle groups will easily make children be over-weight. Secondly, the lack of balance in the daily menu of children at home and school is also one of the main problems. The absorption of less fiber but on the contrary is high in protein and fat makes children lose balance in the digestive process, which leads lots of weight gain. Despite the disadvantages of fast food, I agree with the idea that obesity occurs for many reasons.
Nowadays, obesity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is happening a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
and is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
problem. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of child obesity and should
be prohibited
in near future, I believe there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
Did you mean "of course" (=naturally)?
of cause
for this situation.

There are a few key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for kids. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contains a large amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and
that is
also
the cause of numerous diseases such as obesity or heart disease. Research have shown that in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, it is necessary to fry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of cooking oil, which stimulates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
appetite and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them always want to eat junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. When kids eat too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of burning calories, the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
will lead to disease.
Furthermore
, numerous advertisements with attractive images
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lack of information about nutrition lists appear a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
in the media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are curious, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should have policies to limit this issue.

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is the major source of obesity, I maintain that there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, parents do not pay close attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and daily exercise for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Lack of doing exercise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the calories in the body can not
be burned
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
muscle groups will
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
be over-weight.
Secondly
, the lack of balance in the daily menu of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home and school is
also
one of the main problems. The absorption of less fiber
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the contrary
is high in protein and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lose balance in the digestive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
, which leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of weight gain.

Despite the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that obesity occurs for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Fast food is the main cause of childhood obesity and therefore should be banned completely.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts