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WOULD YOU ADVISE THE BITISH TO GET RID OF THE MONARCHY?

WOULD YOU ADVISE THE BITISH TO GET RID OF THE MONARCHY? WYw1e
There is a statement that the British should eliminate the monarchy exicting in their country. In my perspective, I totally disagree with this given idea and in the essay below, I will show why I disagree with this opinion. To begin with, it is believed that a monarchy is not a democracy. However, on the practical side, the British state is implementing a monarchy along with democracy. The evident is that how the country is organized and operated today has positive response from public opinion, the international community and the British people's own perception. Besides, the King is considered as a symbol of national unity and sustainability. Because of peacetime, the King does not join the party and retreats into the political background and will show the capacity when the country is in danger or on the brink of civil war. Secondly, these days, the British generally still want to live in a country having the King. According to a report in 2007, most of British people said that maitaining the monarchy is necessary. Because the British always proud of what they have such as the birthplace of a constitutional monarchy, having long-standing political customs, the origin of English language and the birthplace of the Common Law family of law - one of the two great and typical legal families in the world today. Finally, we can see that not only the UK but also many other countries in the world, although they are monarchies, are still considered democratic such as Spain, Belgium, Netherlands, Denmark, Luxemburg, Sweden in Europe or Japan in Asia. In contrast, many present-day states, despite being called republics, are still dictatorial and anti-democratic, such as Mubarak's dictatorship in Egypt; Gaddafi's dictatorship in the Republic of Libya, the state of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Thus, a monarchy can still be a democratic state and a republic can still be an authoritarian, anti-democratic state. In summary, for the reasons metioned above. I would disagree that the British should remove the monarchy. Because the British government is doing their roles well. They always put the people as the goal of developing the country with the motto of monarchy but democracy.
There is a statement that the British should eliminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
Possible spelling mistake found.
exicting
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my perspective, I
totally
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and in the essay below, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why I disagree with this opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
is believed
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
is not a democracy.
However
, on the practical side, the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
is implementing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
along with democracy. The evident is that how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is organized
and operated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from public opinion, the international community and the British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.
Besides
, the King
is considered
as a symbol of national unity and sustainability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of peacetime, the King does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the party and retreats into the political background and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the capacity when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
or on the brink of civil war.

Secondly
, these days, the British
generally
still
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
having the King. According to a report in 2007, most of British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said that
Possible spelling mistake found.
maitaining
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
is necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the British always proud of what they have such as the birthplace of a constitutional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
, having long-standing political customs, the origin of English language and the birthplace of the Common Law family of law
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
one of the two great and typical legal families in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Finally
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, although they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchies
, are
still
considered democratic such as Spain, Belgium, Netherlands, Denmark,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Luxemburg
, Sweden in Europe or Japan in Asia.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
present-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
, despite
being called
republics, are
still
dictatorial and anti-democratic, such as Mubarak's dictatorship in Egypt; Gaddafi's dictatorship in the Republic of Libya, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of the Democratic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's Republic of Korea.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
can
still
be a democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
and a republic can
still
be an authoritarian, anti-democratic state.

In summary, for the reasons
Possible spelling mistake found.
metioned
above. I would disagree that the British should remove the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is doing their roles well. They always put the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as the goal of developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with the motto of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monarchy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
democracy.
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IELTS essay WOULD YOU ADVISE THE BITISH TO GET RID OF THE MONARCHY?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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