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The idea of having single career has became an old fashioned, a new trend will be having several careers and earning opportunities. What do you think? Give your opinion.

The idea of having single career has became an old fashioned, a new trend will be having several careers and earning opportunities. What do you think? Give your opinion. J0PlE
Nowadays, career plays a vital role in a person’s life. There are many beliefs that having one career is enough whereas, a new trend is incoming of having more than one career. People believes that single career will bring them less income and less job opportunities. A person with less pay will not be able to fulfil his dreams. The lifestyle will be boring. They will not get chance to work in major companies and would be stuck in a local company. This will lead to lack of confidence as they have not communicated with higher knowledge people. In this era, there is sudden increase in trend for opting many careers. Those who have several careers will be able to acquire more knowledge. This will make them give many job opportunities and improve their standard of living in many ways. This will help not only them but also their family. These days many people starts two business at a time and be organised that stands as an epitome. To conclude, I believe that people with several career will be more punctual, confident and could be engage with colleagues.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
plays a vital role in a person’s life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beliefs that having one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
whereas, a new trend is incoming of having more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
will bring them less income and less job opportunities. A person with less pay will not be able to fulfil his dreams. The lifestyle will be boring. They will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to work in major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and would
be stuck
in a local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This will lead to lack of confidence as they have not communicated with higher knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this era, there is sudden increase in trend for opting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. Those who have several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
will be able to acquire more knowledge. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their standard of living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their family. These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
starts
two business at a time and be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
that stands as an epitome.
To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
will be more punctual, confident and could be
Consider using the past participle "engaged"?
engage
with colleagues.

IELTS essay The idea of having single career has became an old fashioned, a new trend will be having several careers and earning opportunities. What do you think? Give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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