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world would be a better place. If women own the leadership.do you agree or disagree ?

world would be a better place. If women own the leadership. x8wPQ
It is not an exaggeration to say that the role of women can not be explained in words. Unlike males, in females leadership whole globe would be more developed. I staunchly disagree with the given notion due to some notable reasons in subsequent paragraphs To reckon with, one of the most prominent substantial factor that's why men should dominant for world safety is that men have deficiency of emotions rather than women. To elaborate, since the rate of technology has mushroomed, world give a chance to own leadership to gentlemen because of physical strength. Owing to this, when world need hazardous decisions, women are unable to make hard decisions because they are physical weak. For instance, Brazil bureaucrates stated that in America during world war, big authorities decided to throw most deterimental weapon in Africa but majority of females were disagree with this tough decision. Therefore, this paragraph strengthen why males are more strong However, some folks deem that females role is indispensable for the development of whole globe. The central reason is that womens are much educated instead of gentlemen. In other words, being literate can cause a number of benefits, which lead to create new technology etcetra. Due to this, if much modern technology will developing in order to provide job opportunities for individuals. As a consequence, a school of thought masses become affluent. To cite an epitome, A study conducted by Oxford university reveals that gone are the days when people used to live without work To recapitulate, it can be concluded that although in female leadership, masses can acquire pile of money, yet I reiterate that men act as a boon to take world most difficult decisions
It is not an exaggeration to say that the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in words. Unlike males, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
leadership whole globe would be more developed. I
staunchly
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
notable reasons in subsequent paragraphs To reckon with, one of the most prominent substantial factor that's why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
should dominant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
safety is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have deficiency of emotions
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. To elaborate, since the rate of technology has mushroomed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
give a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
leadership to gentlemen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of physical strength. Owing to this, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
need hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are physical weak.
For instance
, Brazil
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "bureaucrats", the plural form of the noun 'bureaucrat'?
bureaucrates
stated that in America during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
war,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
authorities decided to throw most
Possible spelling mistake found.
deterimental
weapon in Africa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were
Consider using a past participle here: "disagreed".
disagree
with this tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
Therefore
,
The verb 'strengthen' is plural. Did you mean: "this paragraph strengthens"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this paragraph strengthen
why males are more strong
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks deem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
role is indispensable for the development of whole globe. The central reason is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
womens
are much educated
instead
of gentlemen.
In other words
, being literate can cause a number of benefits, which lead to create new technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
etcetra
. Due to this, if much modern technology will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "develop"
developing
in order to provide job opportunities for individuals. As a consequence, a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
masses become affluent. To cite an epitome, A study conducted by Oxford university reveals that gone are the days when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without work To recapitulate, it can
be concluded
that although in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
leadership, masses can acquire pile of money,
yet
I reiterate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
act as a boon to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
most difficult
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
decisions
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IELTS essay world would be a better place. If women own the leadership.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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