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Government should spend money on railways. Do you agree or disagree?

Government should spend money on railways. BwkWV
Nowadays population is increase and for their day to day work transportation is nessesary. People usually use their private vehicles or public transport as per their need. On one hand the public transportation is used by many people who do not afford the private vehicles. Railways is one of the major source of public transport where thousands of people can travel cost effectively. In fact people will save their precious travelling time to use public transport on railways. As well as railways is cheaper than other transportation like bus, truck or car and many others. On other hand using public transport railway we can solve the traffic issues on the roads as well as government will save more fuel for other resources and that will affect on country air pollution. That is why if government will spend more money on railways to improve the facility and they can cover other route to start new trains. For example, In the city of Mumbai there are thousands of people travel for their work by local train rather than prefer private vehicles that is why there are less vehicles on the road and get less traffic issue as well as less environment issue. To conclude that I strongly agree with that statement to government need to spend more money on railways to improve traffic issues and environmental issue.
Nowadays population is increase and for their day to day work transportation is
nessesary
.
People
usually
use
their private
vehicles
or
public
transport
as per their need.

On one hand the
public
transportation is
used
by
many
people
who do not afford the private
vehicles
.
Railways
is one of the major source of
public
transport
where thousands of
people
can travel cost
effectively
. In fact
people
will save their precious travelling time to
use
public
transport
on
railways
.
As well
as
railways
is cheaper than
other
transportation like bus, truck or car and
many
others.

On
other
hand using
public
transport
railway
we can solve the traffic
issues
on the roads
as well
as
government
will save more fuel for
other
resources and that will
affect
on country air pollution.
That is
why if
government
will spend more money on
railways
to
improve
the
facility and
they can cover
other
route to
start
new trains.

For example
, In the city of Mumbai there are thousands of
people
travel for their work by local train
rather
than prefer private
vehicles
that is
why there are
less
vehicles
on the road and
get
less traffic
issue
as well
as less environment issue.

To conclude
that I
strongly
agree
with that statement to
government
need to spend more money on
railways
to
improve
traffic
issues
and environmental
issue
.
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IELTS essay Government should spend money on railways.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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