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world changers- top ten inventions

world changers- top ten inventions eAnlK
I think most of all these inventions are very important. The invention of the wheel and the engine makes it easy for us to travel long distances. So we spend less time on the road. The discovery of the telephone and the internet helps us to communicate more easily with distant friends and relatives. I think the most important of these discoveries are languages and antibiotics. Because language is a very important factor in our evolution. If people can't talk, they have a hard time communicating their ideas to others. Antibiotics and other drugs help heal our illnesses. We should be grateful to doctors and chemists for this. Our life in our age is significantly connected with networks of electricity and electrical equipment. That's why electricity is also an important invention. But I don't think the iPhone is an important invention. Because not every person has an Iphone and it is unimportant.
I
think
most of all these inventions are
very
important
. The invention of the wheel and the engine
makes
it easy for us to travel long distances.
So
we spend less time on the road. The discovery of the telephone and the internet
helps
us to communicate more
easily
with distant friends and relatives. I
think
the most
important
of these discoveries are languages and antibiotics.
Because
language is a
very
important
factor in our evolution. If
people
can't talk, they have a
hard
time communicating their
ideas
to others. Antibiotics and other drugs
help
heal our illnesses. We should be grateful to doctors and chemists for this. Our life in our age is
significantly
connected with networks of electricity and electrical equipment. That's why electricity is
also
an
important
invention.
But
I don't
think
the iPhone is an
important
invention.
Because
not every person has an
Iphone
and it is unimportant.
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IELTS essay world changers- top ten inventions

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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