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People aim to achieve balance between work and other activities of their lives but few are able to do this. What solutions can you suggest?

People aim to achieve balance between work and other activities of their lives but few are able to do this. What solutions can you suggest? Ewxmq
Nowadays, very few people are ablet to strike a balance between work and life although everyone is aware of the importance of it. This could be due to the cut throat competition in the workplace and unrealistic targets that employers set for their employees. By regulating the working hours, the government can improve the situation to a great extent. Most people these days spend inordinate amounts of time at the workplace. In large cities they also spend to 2 to 4 hours a day for the commute. Consequently, most people leave their home early in the morning and return only late at night. By this time, they are already tired and it is time to go to bed. Consequently, they have hardly any interactions with their family members. This not only affects relationships within the family but also puts them under tremendous pressure. Some people work even on the weekends because they have targets to meet. Unfortunately, this deprives them of any free time for themselves. Poor time management skills are yet another factor that prevents people from enjoying work life balance. On the bright side, this situation can be improved through a little intervention of the government. The authorities should enforce standard working hours. Employers who make their employees work overtime should be fined. They should also be made to pay overtime wages to their workers. Workers also need to make a conscious effort to find some time for themselves and their family. Everyone is caught up in the rat race. It is important for people to realize that there is a lot more to life than just earning money or promotions. To conclude, increasing competition and unrealistic deadlines are the main factors that prevent people from having work balance life. The government can improve the situation by regulating working hours. People should also cultivate good time management skills.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
ablet
to strike a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
although everyone is aware of the importance of it. This could be due to the
'cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "cut-throat".
cut throat
competition in the workplace and unrealistic targets that employers set for their employees. By regulating the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation to a great extent.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days spend inordinate amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at the workplace. In large cities they
also
spend to 2 to 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day for the commute.
Consequently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home early in the morning and return
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
late at night. By this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they are already tired and it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go to bed.
Consequently
, they have hardly any interactions with their family members. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects relationships within the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
puts them under tremendous pressure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even on the weekends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have targets to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. Unfortunately, this deprives them of any free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves. Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
yet
another factor that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance.

On the bright side, this situation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
through a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
intervention of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The authorities should enforce standard working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Employers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime should
be fined
. They should
also
be made
to pay overtime wages to their workers. Workers
also
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conscious effort to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves and their family. Everyone
is caught
up in the rat race. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to realize that there is a lot more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
earning money or promotions.

To conclude
, increasing competition and unrealistic deadlines are the main factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation by regulating working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
also
cultivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay People aim to achieve balance between work and other activities of their lives but few are able to do this. What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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