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Today, many people have little knowledge about the importance of the natural world. What are the reasons and what can be done to help people learn the importance of natural world?

Today, many people have little knowledge about the importance of the natural world. What are the reasons and what can be done to help people learn the importance of natural world? kW9Jd
It is generally accepted that wild animals suffer from pollutions. These days, certain individuals say that majority of people should know more about the importance of the nature for the environment. The following paragraphs will discuss both the causes and solutions of the statement. To begin, a number of people who live in a city, especially young people, does not know well about the wild world as they have never been to rural areas, such as South Africa, South America and countryside. Therefore tend not to think that it is essential to protect the nature, because it does not relate to their city. To solve these, social media, for example Twitter, Instagram and Facebook can tell the importance of environment. They are often used by teenagers and it is a good way to learn vary categories. So, if someone write about how people make natural area dirt and destroyed the environment like forests and the field for wild animals, people will understand the reasons why humans have to protect them. Moreover, teachers can teach the value of nature at school. Most of children still do not have the knowledge about the environmental so it will be a good opportunity to get the information of it. In addition, for elderly people, TV will help them learn the wild wide. In a research, majority of adults like to get information from televisions. In conclusion, although people living a city do not know well about the importance of the environment, there are some opportunities to get the information from social media, schools and TV.
It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that wild animals suffer from pollutions. These days, certain individuals say that majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know more about the importance of the nature for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The following paragraphs will discuss both the causes and solutions of the statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a city,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, does not know well about the wild world as they have never been to rural areas, such as South Africa, South America and countryside.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
tend not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is essential to protect the nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not relate to their city.

To solve these, social media,
for example
Twitter, Instagram and Facebook can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to learn
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to vary"
vary
categories.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "writes", "wrote".
write
about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
natural area dirt and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
like forests and the field for wild animals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will understand the reasons why humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect them.
Moreover
, teachers can teach the value of nature at school.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the children") or simply say "Most children".
Most of children
still
do not have the knowledge about the environmental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information of it.
In addition
, for elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, TV will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn the wild wide. In a research, majority of adults like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information from televisions.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living a city do not know well about the importance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information from social media, schools and TV.
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IELTS essay Today, many people have little knowledge about the importance of the natural world. What are the reasons and what can be done to help people learn the importance of natural world?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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