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working in people's lives

working in people's lives EPYb
Working is taking a lot of time of people's lives. To survive and to have a normal life you need to be financially secure. It is something important to every normal person. People are working so much because they need their paychecks. You get them when you are working. Some people got money from the trust funds. Everyone needs money to live. They can spend then to buy stocks, food or for shopping. This raises the question of how to divides them. Some people might calm that if you save 30 percent of them, you will secure your further. It is typical to have savings but a lot of people spend more than they have. They end you with loans. Some people think it is better if you work for one company for your entire life. It is because you become secure that they will be paying you always good and they will never fire you. But that isn’t always right. On other hand, you will be not motivated to show your work in front of others. In my opinion, the trend of working so much isn’t bad. People are independent and work for everything they have. Sadly, money is making people materialistic. They are ready to do everything about them. Some people start relationships and fake love just to be financially secure. It is alarming about people's behavior.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
is taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To survive and to have a normal life you need to be
financially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
. It is something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to every normal person.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they need their paychecks. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them when you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
money from the trust funds. Everyone needs money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. They can spend then to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stocks, food or for shopping. This raises the question of how to divides them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might calm that if you save 30 percent of them, you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
your
further
. It is typical to have savings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more than they have. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
you with loans.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better if you work for one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for your entire life. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
that they will be paying you always
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
good and
they will never fire you.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that isn’t always right. On other hand, you will be not motivated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
your work in front of others.

In my opinion, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much isn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are independent and work for everything they have.
Sadly
, money is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
materialistic. They are ready to do everything about them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
relationships and fake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to be
financially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
. It is alarming about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's behavior.
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IELTS essay working in people's lives

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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