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teachers should time on important subjects like science, math rather than practical im music. do you agree or disagree.

teachers should time on important subjects like science, math rather than practical im music. 28pJ
The increasing advancements change the world perceptions. The majority of people want to concentrate on important subjects rather than music. Music just only gets rid of stress, however, math and science builds the student's knowledge and also embellish their career. I strongly agree with this statement, how much study is more essential than music. There are some reasonable points, first of all, students can not get jobs in future if they spend more time in schools without learning anything. Therefore, parents sent their kids only for study. They do not idea how much time they spend on important subjects. Moreover, only 70 per cent of students show their interest I'm music, so, teachers should spend on that subjects, which pupils do not want to join. For example, those who are interested in music, they definitely will get from outside training classes. In addition to, music is just a contemporary subject for students. Furthermore, some students stop to give their full presence in important subjects, if the teachers are giving time in music. Hence, music is a gift from inheritance. If kids are good in mathematics, they always teach their parents, who are not educated. In conclusion. music is good as well as important subjects. To some extent, there are more options to show music talent like a reality show. In schools, always study is important rather than others subjects. It's truly said that'' a small stroke fell the great oak. ''
The increasing advancements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world perceptions. The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
rid of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
however
, math and science builds the student's knowledge and
also
embellish their career. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, how much study is more essential than music.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable points,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs in future if they spend more time in schools without learning anything.
Therefore
, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
their kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for study. They do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
how much time they spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
70 per cent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "shows"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'show' is not always incorrect.)
show
their interest I'm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, teachers should spend on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which pupils do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
.
For example
, those who
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, they definitely will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from outside training classes.

In addition
to,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to give their full presence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, if the teachers are giving time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a gift from inheritance. If kids are
Use "good at" to mean "skilled" with school subjects. Try this: "good at mathematics".
good in mathematics
, they always teach their parents, who are not educated.

In conclusion
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
music
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, there are more options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
talent like a reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. In schools, always study is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
rather
than others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. It's
truly
said that'' a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stroke fell the great oak. ''
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IELTS essay teachers should time on important subjects like science, math rather than practical im music.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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