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Teaching financial management in school curriculum

Teaching financial management in school curriculum BopV
A child’s formative years is the best time to teach them valuable life skills as they will be able to benefit from these lessons their entire life. I would argue that teaching students such key life lessons may be significantly more important than other academic subjects typically taught at school. I strongly agree with the view that managing money should be included in school curriculum. I believe it will provide them with the key skills required to deal with two major challenges in the world today - consumerism and online shopping. In today’s global capitalist economy, consumerism is the biggest hurdle to living a financially successful life. What do you constantly see driving down the street in a city or town? Numerous hoardings advertising glamorous products encouraging you to spend big money and buy something you probably don’t need. Any newspaper, magazine or anywhere you look, big brands are always trying to sell you something. Even the social pressures of not have something that your friends have, this can make people buy stuff they don’t need with money that they don’t have. Bank and credit cards are willing to loan you money so that you spend more than you can afford. A strong foundation laid at a young age to manage money and spend only within budgets can be the difference between being debt-free and broke. Online shopping is another major challenge that has come with the explosion of the internet, technology and smartphones. Buying things online today is just a click or a touch away. It’s so easy to go on an online shopping spree without realizing the financial impact until it’s too late. For example, online ads and social media and apps encourage you buy things and to spend additional money on in-app purchases and that can be quite financially draining. Maintaining financial discipline will be hard for young people especially if they haven’t developed this skill at a young age. These are some of the reasons why I believe schools must include important life skills like managing money in their curriculum. It can be implemented as classroom lessons or practical activities designed to understand and practice these financial skills. If this is implemented across the country, I believe we will see a generation of successful young people in this nation who are financially responsible and are able to focus on making this world a better place not bogged down by debt and despair.
A child’s formative years is the best time to teach them valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as they will be able to benefit from these lessons their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I would argue that teaching students such key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons may be
significantly
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than other academic subjects
typically
taught at school. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be included
in school curriculum.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
believe it will provide them with the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required to deal with two major challenges in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
consumerism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s global capitalist economy, consumerism is the biggest hurdle to living a
financially
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. What do you
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
driving down the street in a city or town? Numerous hoardings advertising glamorous products encouraging you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something you
probably
don’t need. Any newspaper, magazine or anywhere you look,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
brands are always trying to sell you something. Even the social pressures of not have something that your friends have, this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff they don’t need with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that they don’t have. Bank and credit cards are willing to loan you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more than you can afford. A strong foundation laid at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
within budgets can be the difference between being debt-free and broke.

Online shopping is another major challenge that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with the explosion of the internet, technology and smartphones. Buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click or a touch away. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy to go on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping spree without realizing the financial impact until it’s too late.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
ads and social media and apps encourage you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on in-app
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
and that can be quite
financially
draining. Maintaining financial discipline will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
especially
if they haven’t developed this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age.

These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why I believe schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in their curriculum. It can
be implemented
as classroom lessons or practical activities designed to understand and practice these financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. If this
is implemented
across the country, I believe we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a generation of successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this nation who are
financially
responsible and are able to focus on making this world a better place not bogged down by debt and despair.
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IELTS essay Teaching financial management in school curriculum

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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