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Workers are more stisfied when they have alot of different tasks to do compared to workers have similar tasks. v.2

Workers are more stisfied when they have alot of different tasks to do compared to workers have similar tasks. v. 2
Career choice is one of the most important factors in the quality of our lives. In this regard, many prefer to choose a career in which they are given a wide variety of tasks to do since they will not get bored, others, however, disagree. I personally subscribe to the view that it would be incredibly beneficial if workers engage in similar activities at work. I cling to this standpoint for two main reasons, which I will elucidate in the following essay. To begin with, doing similar tasks every day will undoubtedly lead the whole business to be more productive. To be more specific, when workers do the same tasks every day they will be more professional and specialist in their own field of profession. This, in turn, cause every piece of tasks to be accomplished by a specialist, not by the worker who has only a superficial understanding of the issue. Hence, as every and each task has been accomplished in the best way, the whole members will benefit. An experience of my own is a compelling example of this. For about 5 years I had been working in a consulting engineering which contributed to road and bridge construction. After 5 years working in that company, I could not consider myself a bridge designer because I had to work on a wide variety of projects including hydraulic design of channels, piers of bridge, culverts, to name but a handful. Although I grasped a general knowledge in each and every field when I decided to change my job I was not qualified for any of them due to lack of professional experience. Had I engaged in just bridge designing, I would have mastered in the area and guaranteed my future career. Second, if workers do similar tasks every day, it is less likely to undergo a massive financial burden due to delay. Some businesses are charged a high fine because they do not finish the project before due time. When people are engaged in some works every day, they will become master in their field, and they then will be better able to finish their obligations on time with least errors. Hence, both the company and workers benefit from this policy. To put all in a nutshell, considering all the aforementioned points and examples, I firmly believe that it would be more beneficial for both company and workers if the workers engage in similar tasks every day. I feel so because not only does it help workers to be specialist in their tasks, but it also is more economical due to performing the projects on time.
Career choice is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in the quality of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
prefer to choose a career in which they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
to do since they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored, others,
however
, disagree. I
personally
subscribe to the view that it would be
incredibly
beneficial if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
activities at work. I cling to this standpoint for two main reasons, which I will elucidate in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
every day will
undoubtedly
lead the whole business to be more productive. To be more specific, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
every day they will be more professional and specialist in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
field of profession. This, in turn, cause every piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
to
be accomplished
by a specialist, not by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a superficial understanding of the issue.
Hence
, as every and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
has
been accomplished
in the best way, the whole members will benefit. An experience of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is a compelling example of this. For about 5 years I had been working in a consulting engineering which contributed to road and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
construction. After 5 years working in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, I could not consider myself a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
designer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had to work on a wide variety of projects including hydraulic design of channels, piers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
, culverts, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a handful. Although I grasped
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "general knowledge".
a general knowledge
in each and every field when I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my job I was not qualified for any of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to lack of professional experience. Had I engaged in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
designing, I would have mastered in the area and guaranteed my future career.

Second, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
every day, it is less likely to undergo a massive financial burden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to delay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
businesses
are charged
a high fine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not finish the project
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
time. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
works every day, they will become master in their field, and they then will be better able to finish their obligations on time with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
errors.
Hence
, both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
benefit from this policy.

To put all in a nutshell, considering all the aforementioned points and examples, I
firmly
believe that it would be more beneficial for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
every day. I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to be specialist in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
is more economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to performing the projects on time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Workers are more stisfied when they have alot of different tasks to do compared to workers have similar tasks. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
436 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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