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work should be a person's choice and shouldnt be force to retire

work should be a person's choice and shouldnt be force to retire mb9MK
With the increase in the population over the years, challenges have become vast and tougher for the survival. Due to which, the necessity for engaging oneself to a particular work or job is mandatory. People are working really hard to earn a living and tackle the hardship in their life. Waking up early in the morning and rushing to their work places is not a cup of tea. They do not get any time for the family or for themselves. It just the fact that competition has become boundless. As a matter of fact, I believe people should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want. The decision should totally depend on them. There are many who loved their work because it was their passion, but being forced to retired at the age of 60 or 65. If a person is well trained in the field of work, then the work should be continued by them, instead of snatching it away and giving it to others. Passion and hard work do not die out with age. A great example could be about late APJ Abdul Kamal. His zeal for working for the development of the country, is still remembered by every citizen. Ageing didn’t decrease his love and passion for his work and for his country. Hence, working for a particular term is an individual’s choice. They shouldn’t be forced to retire at a particular age. A person who works with dedication could do wonders, for the growth of the Nation as well as for himself.
With the increase in the population over the years, challenges have become vast and tougher for the survival. Due to which, the necessity for engaging oneself to a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or job is mandatory.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are working
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn a living and tackle the hardship in their life. Waking up early in the morning and rushing to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places is not a cup of tea. They do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any time for the family or for themselves. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the fact that competition has become boundless.

As a matter of fact, I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for as long as they want. The decision should
totally
depend on them. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was their passion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being forced
to
Did you mean "retire"?
retired
at the age of 60 or 65. If a person is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should
be continued
by them,
instead
of snatching it away and giving it to others. Passion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out with age. A great example could be about late APJ Abdul Kamal. His zeal for working for the development of the country, is
still
remembered by every citizen.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Ageing' is British English.
Ageing
didn’t decrease his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and passion for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and for his country.

Hence
, working for a particular term is an individual’s choice. They shouldn’t
be forced
to retire at a particular age. A person who works with dedication could do wonders, for the growth of the Nation
as well
as for himself.
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IELTS essay work should be a person's choice and shouldnt be force to retire

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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