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Physical strength is important for succeeding however other hold the contrary

Physical strength is important for succeeding however other hold the contrary VQYA7
In recent years, sports have become increasingly popular and play a crucial part of human 's entertainment. However some individuals assert that success in sports are completely related to musclular strength. Nevertheless some other people believe mental toughness is the main key to Success. In my view, both of them are also necessary for athletes. On the one hand, in many kinds of sports, physical fitness is the main factor which lead players to victory. Obviously, athletes should have a superior health than other one, endurance and nice skills. For instance, in soccer, players need to have a strong physique to run continuously and fight with each other during ninty minutes. Moreover, physical sports are not just a mind game as well as a game which players can have a chance to win if they completely related to mentally strong. This is a game belongs to athletes who have a stamina and endurance. And having focus is not perfect key to success in sports. On the other hand, Mental toughness constitutes an important factor in virtually every sport. Stability of mind will support them focus on the fight without fear. Under a strained pressure of match, sportpersons who remain claim during the game, have 60 percent rate in order to victory. For example, at UEFA Euro 2021, under a intense pressure, Kylian Mbappé could not concentrate on scoring so France team had lost. Furthermore, mental strength affect so much the result of game. Athletes can Come up with many strategies if they have a strong mentality. People play game without Spirit and enthusiasm, they easily get bad consequence. Therefore, spirit as well as enthusiasm is a part of success In conclusion, Physical toughness and metal strenght are also important for athletes. Both are are a necessary key to success in sports
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have become
increasingly
popular and play a crucial part of human 's entertainment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are completely related to
Possible spelling mistake found.
musclular
strength.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe mental toughness is the main key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
. In my view, both of them are
also
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
. On the one hand, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, physical fitness is the main factor which lead players to victory.
Obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
should have a superior health than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one, endurance and nice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, in soccer, players need to have a strong physique to run
continuously
and fight with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
during
Possible spelling mistake found.
ninty
minutes.
Moreover
, physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a mind game
as well
as a game which players can have a chance to win if they completely related to mentally strong. This is a game belongs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
who have a stamina and endurance. And having focus is not perfect key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, Mental toughness constitutes an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in
virtually
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. Stability of mind will support them focus on the fight without fear. Under a strained pressure of match,
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportpersons
who remain claim during the game, have 60 percent rate in order to victory.
For example
, at UEFA Euro 2021, under
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
intense pressure,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kylian
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mbappé
could not concentrate on scoring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
France team had lost.
Furthermore
, mental strength affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much the result of game.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Athletes
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strategies if they have a strong mentality.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
play game without Spirit and enthusiasm, they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequence.
Therefore
, spirit
as well
as enthusiasm is a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
In conclusion
, Physical toughness and metal
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenght
are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
. Both are
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
a necessary key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
sports
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IELTS essay Physical strength is important for succeeding however other hold the contrary

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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