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In the past, knowledge was stored in books. However, now it is stored on the internet. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. However, now it is stored on the internet. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? PWE9j
In recent decades, thanks to the advance of technology, using electronic books instead of traditional books has been increasingly popular. Although it has a negative influence on e-readers’ health, it is an eco-friendly alternative for people to protect the environment, which far outweighs any drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several drawbacks of reading books on the internet, one of which is that it has a negative influence on the health of readers. To be more specific, when people use ebooks, they have to look at the screens of devices, and they have to get exposed to the blue light, which is harmful for their eyes. Therefore, these people easily suffer from eye-related diseases. For instance, a recent study of Foreign Trade University in 2019 showed that 72% of students from this school were short-sighted since they read ebooks from 2 to 3 hours per day. However, electronic devices these days come with features that allow users to adjust the level of brightness according to the time of the day, which enables them to protect themselves from eye damage. On the other hand, there are various benefits of storing knowledge online, one of which is that this act is environmentally friendly. In other words, if traditional books are replaced by ebooks, the amount of paper produced will reduce tremendously, which means cutting down trees to produce paper will no longer be necessary. This might mitigate the effect of greenhouse gases and global warming in the long run. For instance, a recent study from Harvard University indicated that in 2019, the dominance of electronic books over printed books led to the decrease of 195 million plants logged, compared to the past few years, which lessens 10 times the amount of CO2 released into the air. This means that switching to ebooks enables people to protect their environment, which benefits their health in the future. In conclusion, while it is quite dangerous for people in terms of health concerns to store knowlege online, this allows people to protect their environment, which outweighs the demerit.
In recent decades, thanks to the advance of technology, using electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
instead
of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
has been
increasingly
popular. Although it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on e-readers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, it is an eco-friendly alternative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the environment, which far outweighs any drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are several drawbacks of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on the internet, one of which is that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of readers. To be more specific, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
look at the screens of devices, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to the blue light, which is harmful for their eyes.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
suffer from eye-related diseases.
For instance
, a recent study of Foreign Trade University in 2019
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 72% of students from this school were short-sighted since they read
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
from 2 to 3 hours per day.
However
, electronic devices these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with features that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
users to adjust the level of brightness according to the time of the day, which enables them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
themselves from eye damage.

On the other hand
, there are various benefits of storing knowledge online, one of which is that this act is
environmentally
friendly.
In other words
, if traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are replaced
Possible spelling mistake found.
by ebooks
, the amount of paper produced will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
tremendously
, which means cutting down trees to produce paper will no longer be necessary. This might mitigate the effect of greenhouse gases and global warming in the long run.
For instance
, a recent study from Harvard University indicated that in 2019, the dominance of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
over printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
led to the decrease of 195 million plants logged, compared to the past few years, which lessens 10 times the amount of CO2 released into the air. This means that switching to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ebooks
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their environment, which benefits their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the future.

In conclusion
, while it is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concerns to store
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlege
online, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
their environment, which outweighs the demerit.
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IELTS essay In the past, knowledge was stored in books. However, now it is stored on the internet. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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