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WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LEISURE. DISCUSS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LEISURE. DISCUSS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION. QKoey
Opinions are divided as whether taking almost our time to work or spending relaxing. While there are valid arguments to contrary, I would contend that it is better if people work harder instead of being lazy. However, we also ought to keep our health by having a rest. It is undeniable that work always plays an important role in human’s life because material is based on it. If we want a sufficient living condition, we have to spend almost time working. In order to have high-income, people should focus more on career instead of being too leisured. Besides, hard-working means we have some opportunities to succeed or have achievements. During the time we do the research, we can find out a number of different knowledge and broaden our mind. It is clear that work will do more good than harm. One should, however, not forget that leisure is also necessary in daily life. After a day we worked and studied, there are some moments which we can gather with our family or take care of ourselves. Although work is more crucial than leisure, it cannot be ignored that health is one of the most important parts in life. Taking time to relax does not mean we do not work hard. It is just a short period of time we can get out of deadlines and take a rest. In conclusion, leisure is necessary for people to keep good health. However, we still ought to work hard instead of relaxing too regularly. From my point of view, in today’s modern society, teenagers should spend more time focusing on working and studying in order to improve their abilities.
Opinions
are divided
as whether taking almost our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or spending relaxing. While there are valid arguments to contrary, I would contend that it is better if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder
instead
of being lazy.
However
, we
also
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our health by having a rest.

It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
always plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in human’s life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
material
is based
on it. If we want a sufficient living condition, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working. In order to have high-income,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should focus more on career
instead
of being too leisured.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working means we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities to succeed or have achievements. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we do the research, we can find out a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge and broaden our mind. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will do more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than harm.

One should,
however
, not forget that leisure is
also
necessary in daily life. After a day we worked and studied, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
moments which we can gather with our family or take care of ourselves. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more crucial than leisure, it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that health is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts in life. Taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax does not mean we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of deadlines and take a rest.

In conclusion
, leisure is necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
However
, we
still
ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
instead
of relaxing too
regularly
. From my point of view, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
focusing on working and studying in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their abilities.
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IELTS essay WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN LEISURE. DISCUSS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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