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In recent time some people think if people get opportunity to select between life without work and other people think spending all time to work ,then they would choose not work. I am in favor of workaholic life .

In recent time some people think if people get opportunity to select between life without work and other people think spending all time to work, then they would choose not work. I am in favor of workaholic life. yL9oE
Nowadays people are reluctant towards job. Which is not good for them. Work has many advantages. Work is like mental and physical health exercise. job sticks human with each other so it reduces other time wasting activity. Business teaches decision making ability and risk taking ability. We can say it is social bonding which is not blood related, people mingle with each other, so it has social benefit. It increases intelligence level and cognitive level. Work teaches how to work in stress and pressure. Workaholic people are major booster in country economy so, it increases employment ratio. They also contribute in country GDP. If people avoid job. It will break business chain. It directly effects country financial system we all know what happened during covid 19 period. After covid we face huge recession in business. In addition, today we got huge achievement in every sector. Cause is we never retreat from hard work. Human are living advance life reason is our working capacity, if we stop work then it will straightly affect to our growth and upcoming generation. On the other hand, we can see some people who do extreme hard work. They work constantly 10-12 hours. They should take break from work. We know they work under enormous pressure and stress so they deserve rest. If they do not take rest It effects business life and own social life. They can face huge mental health problems. In conclusion I firmly believe we are living in 21st century so we cannot live jobless life. But it does not mean we do only work whole life. We should give some rest to our body. I think government should allocate time in a year to rest Working life is better than without work life
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reluctant towards job. Which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
is like mental and physical health exercise.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
job
sticks human with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time wasting
activity. Business teaches
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
ability and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
taking ability. We can say it is social bonding which is not blood related,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mingle with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has social benefit. It increases intelligence level and cognitive level.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
teaches how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure.

Workaholic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are major booster in country economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it increases employment ratio. They
also
contribute in country GDP. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid job. It will break business chain. It
directly
effects country financial system we all know what happened during
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
period.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
we face huge recession in business.

In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
huge achievement in every sector. Cause is we never retreat from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Human are living advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
reason is our working capacity, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then it will
straightly
affect to our growth and upcoming generation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
constantly
10-12 hours. They should take break from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. We know they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under enormous pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they deserve rest. If they do not take rest It effects business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They can face huge mental health problems.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
firmly
believe we are living in 21st century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it does not mean we do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. We should give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest to our body. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate time in a year to rest

Working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is better than without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay In recent time some people think if people get opportunity to select between life without work and other people think spending all time to work, then they would choose not work. I am in favor of workaholic life.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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