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The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem 1bwDM
The world's population rising much greater than was in the past and there are many problems faced by humanity currently. would Government make any law to control the population? The global population has increased considerably may be due to several causes. To begin, increased life expectancy in the twenty-first century allows people nowadays to live longer. Recent research has shown that people these days are more long-lived than people in the past. This may be mainly due to the advanced technology used in medical fields which are able to cure and prevent the diseases that are previously untreatable. On the other hand, people these days are more educated which allows them to secure a decent position in a company with high pay. In other words, they have no financial problems and are therefore able to have more children. Nowadays, there are many population problems. Firstly, The people have issues such as The family of five people do not have adequate rooms left in their house to stay in so they have to purchase a big house which is becoming very costly than past, also many people are jobless so they cannot fulfill their needs or use any amenities which can use for better future. Furthermore, some people believe that the population of their countries is not enough so they make arrangements for those people who are willing to go there to make secure jobs and financial well off by making good scores and knowledge of different languages. In a nutshell, the increase in the world’s population is caused by numerous factors and I strongly agree that it is the biggest problem we are facing now. However, I believe there are a handful of possible measures which the governments can take to tackle this problem and mitigate against the possible negative impacts on our lives.
The world's
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population
rising much greater than was in the past and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
faced by humanity
currently
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any law to control the population?

The global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has increased
considerably
may be due to several causes. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, increased life expectancy in the twenty-
first
century
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. Recent research has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days are more long-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past. This may be
mainly
due to the advanced technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in medical fields which are able to cure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the diseases that are previously untreatable.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days are more educated which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to secure a decent position in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with high pay.
In other words
, they have no financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and are
therefore
able to have more children.

Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have issues such as The family of five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have adequate rooms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to stay in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which is becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use "(costly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
costly
than past,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are jobless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot fulfill their needs or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
any amenities which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for better future.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of their countries is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
arrangements for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are willing to go there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
secure jobs and financial well off by making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
scores and knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages.

In a nutshell, the increase in the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is caused
by numerous factors and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
we are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
However
, I believe there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "handfuls", "handsful"?
handful
of possible measures which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can take to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and mitigate against the possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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