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Women Who Do Not Have Their Own Family In Order To Avoid Paying Maternity Leave

Women Who Do Not Have Their Own Family In Order To Avoid Paying Maternity Leave joalp
According to some people, small businesses should not hire young women who are yet to have babies so as to prevent them from claiming maternity leave in future. I firmly disagree. This is unfair to young women who want to be independent and is against the concept of equal opportunity for all. A good reason to disagree with the idea of not recruiting young women is that it is against the fundamental principle of equality. People regardless of their gender and family background ought to have equal employment opportunities. Gender biases in the recruiting process will push the society backward. One of the reasons that prevent women from starting a family is financial liabilities. They need a job to be able to stand on their own feet and provide for their kids. By choosing not to hire childless young women, employers are denying them the opportunity to earn and become independent. Not hiring young women will be a great loss to the company. Many independent, talented young women, particularly in big cities, prefer to live alone and focus on their careers. However, at some point in their lives they want to start a family and later continue following their passion for work. Refusing to hire these talented, focused women would be a huge loss for the business. In conclusion, I disagree with the idea of not employing young women just because they do not have their own family and might need maternity benefits later on.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses should not hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are
yet
to have babies
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from claiming maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. I
firmly
disagree. This is unfair to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who want to be independent and is against the concept of equal opportunity for all.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of not recruiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is that it is against the fundamental principle of equality.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
regardless of their gender and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
background ought to have equal employment opportunities. Gender biases in the recruiting process will push the society backward. One of the reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is financial liabilities. They need a job to be able to stand on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feet and provide for their kids. By choosing not to hire childless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, employers
The verb 'denying' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are denying
them the opportunity to earn and become independent.

Not hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will be a great loss to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
independent, talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
particularly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone and focus on their careers.
However
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and later continue following their passion for work. Refusing to hire these talented, focused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
would be a huge loss for the business.

In conclusion
, I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of not employing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and might need maternity benefits later on.
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IELTS essay Women Who Do Not Have Their Own Family In Order To Avoid Paying Maternity Leave

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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