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women do not feel need to get married when they are financially strong.

It is undeniable that today women are so upbringed, that even if they dont get married they can be self-dependent and their future is safe. I personally accord with the notion and will discuss some of my views regarding this statement. To begin with, today women are allowed to study and till they get a job and parents also support them to be self-dependent. If I compare with the past times, in past, some parents has allowed thier daughter to be literate because they were well-known of the fact that daughters have the right to study and be financially strong. while, at that time parents feel the need that their daughter should get married at the age of 18, but today its all opposite. parents dream that their daughter should get that strong that she dont have to prey his husband for money or any other need. Furthermore, this feeling and this decission is only for the goodness of their daughter, as in some cases where the wife is not literate is also the problem and for that she get tanunts from her mother-in-law and from her husband also, which indeed is not her respect but a disrespect. In addition, for the respect and self-esteem of a women, a women should be taught in every house, because when she get married she take his father's respect in her hand and promises to be a great daughter, great wife and a great housemaker. Besides, this can be explained by an epitome, some womens are well literate but still they get taunted by his husband for money, that the money belongs to him, and he can do anything with that whether he can distribute it in poor people or will give it to his mother but not his wife because she dont have any job, and is irrefutable that womens have some personal needs and the biggest need is respect, which they dont get if are not literate and are not earning. To recapitualate, till 26 womens do not feel the need to get engaged in a relation, rather they want to fullfill their all dreams and want to make their parents feel proud of her, which is the biggest dream of all girls. which, indeed, they cant do when they get married because then she is recommended to do everything for in-laws because she is told that herr in-laws is her parents from now.
It is undeniable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
upbringed, that even if they dont
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married they can be self-dependent and their future is safe. I
personally
accord with the notion and will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my views regarding this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to study and till they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
support them to be self-dependent. If I compare with the past times, in past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were well-known of the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughters
have the right to study and be
financially
strong. while, at that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married at the age of 18,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
its all opposite.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
dream that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that strong that she dont
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prey his husband for money or any other need.

Furthermore
, this feeling and this decission is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the goodness of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
, as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases where the wife is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literate
is
also
the problem and for that she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tanunts from her mother-in-law and from her husband
also
, which
indeed
is not her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a disrespect.
In addition
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and self-esteem of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
be taught
in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married she take his father's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
in her hand and promises to be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daughter
, great wife and a great housemaker.
Besides
, this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by an epitome,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
womens are well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
taunted by his husband for money, that the money belongs to him, and he can do anything with that whether he can distribute it in poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or will give it to his mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not his wife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she dont have any job, and is irrefutable that womens have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
, which they dont
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
if are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
literate
and are not earning.

To recapitualate, till 26 womens do not feel the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engaged in a relation,
rather
they want to fullfill their all dreams and want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel proud of her, which is the biggest dream of all girls. which,
indeed
, they cant do when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then she
is recommended
to do everything for in-laws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that herr in-laws is her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS essay women do not feel need to get married when they are financially strong.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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