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Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Although the care of children has traditionally been the role of women, nowadays many men have decided to stay at home to raise children while the woman in the family goes to work. However, some people believe that women have a natural ability for childcare and this role should be left to them. I disagree with this for the following reasons. Firstly, both men and women have qualities which are important for bringing up and educating children. These qualities are not specific to men or women, therefore both genders are able to raise children successfully. By saying that childcare is a specific female role, children will receive a message which portrays women as carers only. For example, young girls who are taught to believe that the place of women is in the home may not try hard in school subjects which are more male dominated, such as science. Secondly, the role of women in the workplace has changed significantly in the last fifty years. Many women now hold senior positions in many areas of employment. Women contribute a range of skills to the workplace which are both valuable and important. In my opinion, women should continue to focus on their careers and ensure that their daughters are aware of the opportunities which are available to them in life. Men should also take on some of the responsibility of childcare and teach their sons that this is a valuable role in society for men as well as women. In conclusion, it is important that men and women share childcare duties because both genders have important qualities and skills. However, women and men should also be allowed to focus on their careers and provide strong role models for children.
Although the care of
children
has
traditionally
been the
role
of
women
, nowadays
many
men
have decided to stay at home to raise
children
while the woman in the family goes to work.
However
,
some
people
believe that
women
have a natural ability for childcare and this
role
should be
left
to them. I disagree with this for the following reasons.

Firstly
, both
men
and
women
have qualities which are
important
for bringing up and educating
children
. These qualities are not specific to
men
or
women
,
therefore
both genders are able to raise
children
successfully
. By saying that childcare is a specific female
role
,
children
will receive a message which portrays
women
as carers
only
.
For example
, young girls who
are taught
to believe that the place of
women
is in the home may not try
hard
in school subjects which are more male dominated, such as science.

Secondly
, the
role
of
women
in the workplace has
changed
significantly
in the last fifty years.
Many
women
now
hold senior positions in
many
areas of employment.
Women
contribute a range of
skills
to the workplace which are both valuable and
important
. In my opinion,
women
should continue to focus on their careers and ensure that their daughters are aware of the opportunities which are available to them in life.
Men
should
also
take on
some
of the responsibility of childcare and teach their sons that this is a valuable
role
in society for
men
as well
as women.

In conclusion
, it is
important
that
men
and
women
share childcare duties
because
both genders have
important
qualities and
skills
.
However
,
women
and
men
should
also
be
allowed
to focus on their careers and provide strong
role
models for
children
.
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IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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