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woman's power in nowadays world

woman's power in nowadays world 5LDoQ
Feminism is what women are paying attention and learning more about those days. It happened since 1848 and has helped a lot of women to vote, hold public offices, work, learn and earn equally to men. It aims to achieve political, economics and personal rights. Seriously, it is a wide range topic and consider " difficult to understand" for young girls. But in my opinion, young girls should be learning it at school. So let's talk about why. While scrolling on Tiktok, i saw a video about a woman speaking her mind on feminism. Her voice was strong but still comfortable, her standing figure, her hand gestures and more. Her strong attitude towards the topic was which enticed me the most. Beforehand, i had known about feminism but hadn't done research or paid any attention to that but at that time, it really fancy me. She spoke about how unfair it is at work where her male colleagues got paid more than her while they did the same job, about how cruel her ex husband treated her, how disgusting it was for her to get catcalled on the street or how her mom never let her wear skirts. I got scared and amazed at the same time because if i was her, i don't know if i would speak my mind about these topics that people nowadays consider " sensitive". I got infected by the bystander effect where we only follow the crowds. But she was sophisticated and brave. She spoke her opinions about them, she encouraged young girls to speak their minds too. She said: " Never shut your voice down, it has power, it will lead you to the life you deserve so never underestimate it" After watching her speech, i decided to do some more research about feminism and now it really changed my mindset towards my daily life. For instance, i make my own choices towards things that affect my personal rights and always speak my mind on what i feel unfair or weird. At school, i think girls are being insecure about themselves and that's just ridiculous because we are female, we are beautiful in our own ways, we shouldn't let boys' opinions affect our alluring selves. Taking everything into consideration, women should have the rights to speak their circumstances, their opinions, their feelings on every topics without feeling ashamed of anything. I hope young girls will be educated about feminism more when they are still in school so they know the big power they hold in hands.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Feminism
is what women are paying attention and learning more about those days. It happened since 1848 and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
women to vote, hold public offices, work, learn and earn
equally
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. It aims to achieve political, economics and personal rights.
Seriously
, it is a wide range
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
and consider
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
difficult to understand
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
should be learning it at school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's talk about why.

While scrolling on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a video about a woman speaking her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feminism
. Her voice was strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
comfortable, her standing figure, her hand gestures and more. Her strong attitude towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
was which enticed me the most. Beforehand,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
had known about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feminism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hadn't done research or paid any attention to that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at that time, it
really
Did you mean "fancies"?
fancy
me. She spoke about how unfair it is at work where her male colleagues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
paid more than her while they did the same job, about how cruel her
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ex husband
treated her, how disgusting it was for her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
catcalled on the street or how her mom never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
her wear skirts. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
scared and amazed at the same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was her,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
don't know if
Did you mean "I"?
i
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays consider
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
sensitive
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
infected by the bystander effect where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
follow the crowds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
she
was sophisticated
and brave. She spoke her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
about them, she encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
too. She said:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Never shut your voice down, it has power, it will lead you to the life you deserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
never underestimate it
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
After watching her speech,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
decided to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more research about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feminism
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my mindset towards my daily life.
For instance
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices towards things that affect my personal rights and always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
on what
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel unfair or weird. At school,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are being insecure about themselves and that's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ridiculous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are female, we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways, we shouldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
boys'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
affect our alluring selves.

Taking everything into consideration, women should have the rights to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their circumstances, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
, their feelings on every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "topic"?
topics
without feeling ashamed of anything. I hope
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
will
be educated
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feminism
more when they are
still
in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they know the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
power they hold in hands.
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IELTS essay woman's power in nowadays world

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
423 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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