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Some people that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. v.2

Some people that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. v. 2
The information age is the name of the era that people live in it. The major reason for this naming is the information that people are bombarded by it. Internet is the tool that has conspicuous part in informing people. Albeit many believe there are several disadvantages in gaining knowledge from the net, I assert it is an astonishing option to find the pieces of information. Firstly, although there are vast numbers of fake news on the net, they are meager when a person compares it with the true news. Most of the news sites attempt to distribute news that has a considerable chance of being true in order to attain people' s trust. Therefore, they can exploit from a high level of trust to attract advertisements to achieve more financial support. For example, Khabar Fori, an Iranian online news reporting company, has been gained people' s trust within two years then, it benefits from huge advertisement fees that it achieved from companies due to the high level of observers. So, if they had not distributed the truth, they would not be able to charge companies with huge advertisement fees. Last but not the least, the internet can be used as an educating system. In the net, people can watch or listen to many people, including expertise and scientists, who teach people various abilities throw the net. For example, YouTube is an online video sharing site that lets people share their movies with each other. In this site, many scientists show their scientific experiments and their consequences; consequently, people would learn new things from them. Also, people share tremendous ways of learning abilities, like learning English, so this site not only is practical for learning but it may also be amusing because of the several alternatives that be used to teach viewers new things. In conclusion, the net is neither harmful nor useless. On the other hand, as far as I am concerned, it is a great method to learn about not only news but also new abilities. Consequently, I highly recommend using the internet as a noticeable way to learn many things.
The information age is the name of the era that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in it. The major reason for this naming is the information that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bombarded
by it. Internet is the tool that has conspicuous part in informing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Albeit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe there are several disadvantages in gaining knowledge from the net, I assert it is an astonishing option to find the pieces of information.

Firstly
, although there are vast numbers of fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the net, they are meager when a person compares it with the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
attempt to distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that has a considerable chance of being true in order to attain
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s trust.
Therefore
, they can exploit from a high level of trust to attract advertisements to achieve more financial support.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khabar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fori
, an Iranian online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
reporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, has
been gained
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s trust within two years then, it benefits from huge advertisement fees that it achieved from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
due to the high level of observers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if they had not distributed the truth, they would not be able to charge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with huge advertisement fees.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the internet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an educating system. In the net,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
or listen to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including expertise and scientists, who teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
various abilities throw the net.
For example
, YouTube is an online video sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share their movies with each other. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their scientific experiments and their consequences;
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things from them.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share tremendous ways of learning abilities, like learning English,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is practical for learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may
also
be amusing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the several alternatives that be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to teach viewers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.

In conclusion
, the net is neither harmful nor useless.
On the other hand
, as far as I
am concerned
, it is a great method to learn about not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
abilities.
Consequently
, I
highly
recommend using the internet as a noticeable way to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to much information creates problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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