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Without capital punishment, our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Without capital punishment, our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 1
Before talking about the essential role of death, you have to think about the meaning, and the purpose, of any kind of reproaching. If you consider that the purpose is to prevent the guilty from being nasty again, you can be secured by an argumentation in favour of the suppression of capital punishment. But you have to think about another aspect of the problem, a reproving is also useful to impress people, to make them fear the law. In fact, let's take the example of a young misfit, which has grown in a violent atmosphere, influenced by older delinquents, etc. He lives in the streets, he has got no aim but to survive. This is the kind of person who could possibly kill someone for money, or even for fun. Why would he fear prison? Life would be easier for him there. In addition, in many cases, when you behave normally, you can benefit from penalty reductions. This young misfit needs to be impressed, he needs to know that the law is a frontier. When you cross it, you can lose your life. That is why capital punishment helps keeping a distance between robbery and murder. If you abolish it, you suppress the difference between two types of crime, which are completely different. But there is also a limit to define, even if the death penalty is unavoidable, it would be a crime to apply it to inadequate cases. If there is no premeditation of past facts which can justify such a rebuking, it is far too strict to apply the death penalty. That is why the lawmakers have to establish precisely the context in which the capital punishment can be pronounced. That is the price to pay to limit violence without using excessive violence.
Before
talking about the essential role of death, you
have to
think
about the meaning, and the purpose, of any kind of reproaching. If you consider that the purpose is to
prevent
the guilty from being nasty again, you can
be secured
by an argumentation in
favour
of the suppression of capital punishment.
But
you
have to
think
about another aspect of the problem, a reproving is
also
useful to impress
people
, to
make
them fear the law. In fact,
let
's take the example of a young misfit, which has grown in a violent atmosphere, influenced by older delinquents, etc. He
lives
in the streets, he has
got
no aim
but
to survive. This is the kind of person who could
possibly
kill someone for money, or even for fun. Why would he fear prison? Life would be easier for him there.
In addition
, in
many
cases, when you behave
normally
, you can benefit from penalty reductions.
This
young misfit needs to
be impressed
, he needs to know that the law is a frontier. When you cross it, you can lose your life.
That is
why capital punishment
helps
keeping a distance between robbery and murder. If you abolish it, you suppress the difference between two types of crime, which are completely
different
.

But
there is
also
a limit to define, even if the death penalty is unavoidable, it would be a crime to apply it to inadequate cases. If there is no premeditation of past facts which can justify such a rebuking, it is far too strict to apply the death penalty.
That is
why the lawmakers
have to
establish
precisely
the context in which the capital punishment can
be pronounced
.
That is
the price to pay to limit violence without using excessive violence.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Without capital punishment, our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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