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With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.9

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 9
In some countries, more and more people are shopping in large stores outside of town, so many stores in the small town center have gone bankrupt. Moreover, people who don't have a car have trouble shopping at the outside store, and it can increase when using a car. While this has many different benefits, I think the limitations are beyond its benefits. On the one hand, shopping in large stores outside the city can have many advantages. Firstly, this helps businesses outside the city earn more profits, can promote the development of many aspects of the remaining fields such as economy and tourism. . . This leaves people less motivated to migrate to cities, which makes it easier to address the population burden on cities. Second, the out-of-town priority helps the auto industry grow, because people without cars have to buy one to go to these suburban shops. This leads to the promotion of economic growth there. On the other hand, I believe there are major limitations to this change. The first is air pollution, because using many cars emits a large amount of exhaust fumes into the air. This causes people to have many respiratory diseases. In addition, heavy traffic congestion on the streets on the outskirts of the city is a serious problem. This can contribute to people wasting time and being late for work when they are stuck on the road for a long time, making them angry and annoyed. In short, there are some advantages of increasing shopping in out-of-town stores, but I still believe its disadvantages are more significant.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
of town,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town center have gone bankrupt.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
have trouble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, and it can increase when using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. While this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the limitations are beyond its benefits.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the city can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
Firstly
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
businesses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
the city earn more profits, can promote the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of the remaining fields such as economy and tourism.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less motivated to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier to address the population burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Second, the out-of-town priority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the auto industry grow,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one to go to these suburban shops. This leads to the promotion of economic growth there.

On the other hand
, I believe there are major limitations to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. The
first
is air pollution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
emits a large amount of exhaust fumes into the air.
Did you mean "these"?
This
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
respiratory diseases.
In addition
, heavy traffic congestion on the streets on the outskirts of the city is a serious problem. This can contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wasting time and being late for work when they
are stuck
on the road for a long time, making them angry and annoyed.

In short, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in out-of-town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
believe its disadvantages are more significant.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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