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integrated task3: university food service informed because of repairing, the main cafeteria will be closed for 2 weeks and students have to eat in snack bars in campus. just summery of passage. ! ! ! ! v.1

integrated task3: university food service informed because of repairing, the main cafeteria will be closed for 2 weeks and students have to eat in snack bars in campus. just summery of passage. ! ! ! ! v. 1
It is often thought by many that it is benefitted for the children to get a small amount of pocket money after every seven days to outlay it on the useful things while others believe that it has more disadvantages and the wastage of money. This essay will discuss both views of the statement, however, in my opinion, the benefits of giving small money to the children outweigh the limitations. First of all, the main advantage of giving pocket money for children is the management of money. They can learn how to spend or manage finances on useful things. These skills will definitely help them in their future, and they will never face the debt pressures. Reports, for example, suggested that the children who receive a small amount of money in their childhood, more have the skills of managing or saving the money. In addition, this helps the children to get a sense of purpose and achievement. They have made a plan to buy a special or required thing by spending their small savings. Thus, pocket money is an essential to give the children. On the other hand, there are some reasons behind those who believe that giving a money to the children is wrong. Initially, they become spendthrift. As they spend money or finances on unnecessary things or products. They become more cruel in the terms of spending money. Secondly, they may indulge themselves into the bad habits or do wrong works by using money, such as little gambling, take drugs and so on. Therefore, these are perhaps the reasons for those who think that giving money to the children is wrong In conclusion, even though there are some disadvantages of giving small pocket money to the children, I believe that there are more benefits, namely learning an important life skill and having a sense of purpose, of giving a small amount of money to the children every week.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
amount of pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
after every seven days to outlay it on the useful things while others believe that it has more disadvantages and the wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay will discuss both views of the statement,
however
, in my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
outweigh the limitations.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is the management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They can learn how to spend or manage finances on useful things. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their future, and they will never face the debt pressures. Reports,
for example
, suggested that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who receive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in their childhood, more have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of managing or saving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In addition
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a sense of purpose and achievement. They have made a plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a special or required thing by spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
savings.
Thus
, pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an essential to give the children.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons behind those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Initially
, they become spendthrift. As they spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or finances on unnecessary things or products. They become more cruel in the terms of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Secondly
, they may indulge themselves into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits or do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
works by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
gambling, take drugs and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Therefore
, these are perhaps the reasons for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong


In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe that there are more benefits,
namely
learning an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and having a sense of purpose, of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
every week.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay integrated task3: university food service informed because of repairing, the main cafeteria will be closed for 2 weeks and students have to eat in snack bars in campus. just summery of passage. ! ! ! ! v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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