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With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Nr8AW
In this day and age, overpopulation caused by the fast rise of elderly people has been not been something unfamiliar. This rapid increase in population is causing the government various problems and leading to the fact that society had to take care of more and more old people. Many others believe that society will be able to tackle this problem, and this opinion definitely has my support. Firstly, I will elaborate on the reason why I strongly agree with the opinion above. Technology has been developing considerably for centuries, enabling several countries to adapt to the swift increase in population. Whilst the world has seen the most significant change in globalization and modernization, people from all around the world also have the tendency to experience better amenities, which, therefore, proceed to help them to live up to 80 years old averagely. Many modern facilities and equipment made treating the elderly much easier and faster. With the improvements in today's healthcare, it has not been a difficult problem to deal with anymore. Not only Vietnam is facing the rise in elderly people but other countries also. Coping with the growth in numbers of elderly citizens has been a major problem in countries such as Japan, the UK, or the USA for years. Eventually, the governments needed to come up with many measurements to solve this problem. These measurements might be constructing better facilities and infrastructures such as hospitals or nursing homes. In the long run, I totally agree that society has the ability to cope with the growth in numbers of the old nowadays and the government can completely tackle this kind of problem.
In this day and age, overpopulation caused by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has been not been something unfamiliar. This rapid increase in population is causing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and leading to the fact that society had to take care of more and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
others believe that society will be able to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and this opinion definitely has my support.

Firstly
, I will elaborate on the reason why I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion above. Technology has been developing
considerably
for centuries, enabling several countries to adapt to the swift increase in population. Whilst the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the most significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in globalization and modernization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all around the world
also
have the tendency to experience better amenities, which,
therefore
, proceed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to 80 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
averagely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
modern facilities and equipment made treating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
much easier and faster. With the improvements in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's healthcare, it has not been a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to deal with anymore.

Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Vietnam is facing the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other countries
also
. Coping with the growth in numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
citizens has been a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in countries such as Japan, the UK, or the USA for years.
Eventually
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
measurements to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. These measurements might be constructing better facilities and infrastructures such as hospitals or nursing homes.

In the long run, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that society has the ability to cope with the growth in numbers of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
nowadays and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can completely tackle this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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