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Many people nowadays tend to marry and have children in their thirties rather than at a younger age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people nowadays tend to marry and have children in their thirties rather than at a younger age. Is this a positive or negative development? e53pB
Marriage is a very important event in everyone’s life. It is a fact that nowadays, people are mostly getting married after the age of 30. I believe that the negative impact of this trend is more serious than the positive impact. People prefer to marry after the age of 30 because of some reasons. One of the important reasons is that they give priority to their careers first. We want to be financially stable and strong enough to properly take charge of the new responsibility. Financial back-up is very much necessary in order to lead a happy married life. For instance, it is seen that most of the tensions and internal conflicts in families are due to the monetary crisis, which is the biggest threat to any marriage. Therefore, we want to be financially stable and well established in our careers in order to take up any new relationship to the next level. However, the negative aspect is more dangerous. One of the biggest problems that ladies face after getting married at an advanced age is the risk of infertility. As a result, the entire family suffers for a lifetime, which is emotionally more painful to bear. In a recent study, it was found out that the infertility risk is more for women who are planning to conceive in their 30s and it doubles once they cross the age of 40s. This is a very common scenario among the working women who are highly ambitious and want to be successful in their lives. Unfortunately, if they fail to conceive, then they will pay a bigger price than they bargained for. What’s more, growing cases of infertility is a major threat to our society and our race. In conclusion, though the positive side of marrying late are certainly evident, the negative impacts are more alarming and therefore they cannot be ignored; hence I believe that such developments are negative for the society.
Marriage is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in everyone’s life. It is a fact that nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
mostly
getting married after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30. I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact of this trend is more serious than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
prefer to marry after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons is that they give priority to their careers
first
. We want to be
financially
stable and strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
properly
take charge of the new responsibility. Financial back-up is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much necessary in order to lead a happy married life.
For instance
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the tensions and internal conflicts in families are due to the monetary crisis, which is the biggest threat to any marriage.
Therefore
, we want to be
financially
stable and well established in our careers in order to take up any new relationship to the
next
level.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspect is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. One of the biggest problems that ladies face after getting married at an advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of infertility.
As a result
, the entire family suffers for a lifetime, which is
emotionally
more painful to bear. In a recent study, it
was found
out that the infertility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is more for women who are planning to conceive in their 30s and it doubles once they cross the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 40s. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common scenario among the working women who are
highly
ambitious and want to be successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Unfortunately, if they fail to conceive, then they will pay a bigger price than they bargained for. What’s more, growing cases of infertility is a major threat to our society and our race.

In conclusion
, though the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of marrying late are
certainly
evident, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts are more alarming and
therefore
they cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
;
hence
I believe that such developments are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
for the society.
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IELTS essay Many people nowadays tend to marry and have children in their thirties rather than at a younger age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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