Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

With the great development of technology during the last century, various kinds of music have emerged. Music becomes so essential that we hear it almost every single day.

With the great development of technology during the last century, various kinds of music have emerged. Music becomes so essential that we hear it almost every single day. 2bRMM
With the great development of technology during the last century, various kinds of music have emerged. Music becomes so essential that we hear it almost every single day. In my view, our bodies require it to live healthier and happier. Although some people claim that cultural songs and music are more valuable than worldwide ones, I think they are equally important. Listening to music contributes a great deal of happiness and good health to our bodies. For example, exposing to calm music after a raw with your boss can dramatically relax your nerves and change your mood to the better. As a consequence, your body avoids the adverse effects(such as high blood pressure and headache) which could have happened if you had still been in that angry mood. Undoubtedly, we go to parties to feel excited. The nice sounds produced by music makers foster the feeling of delight in parties and bring joy to the audience. All types of music whether traditional or international have the same amount of importance. But every one of them has its own proper place to use or play. For instance, in case of a soldier waiting just before the advent of the battle, it is so appropriate to hear some cultural morale-raising kind of music. Because it enhances performance and increases the chances of winning. However, if the music is required to be utilized in an advertisement through an international TV channel to promote for example a brand of perfume, then it is crucial to use famous worldwide music to attract as many followers as possible. In conclusion, in my opinion, music is indispensable in our life. Because of the roles that it plays in our health and other different situations. All kind of music is nice and needed providing that they are used correctly in the proper situation. Various not variant
With the great development of technology during the last century, various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have emerged.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
essential that we hear it almost every single day. In my view, our bodies require it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthier and happier. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that cultural songs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are more valuable than worldwide ones, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
contributes a great deal of happiness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health to our bodies.
For example
, exposing to calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
after a raw with your boss can
dramatically
relax your nerves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your mood to the better. As a consequence, your body avoids the adverse effects(such as high blood pressure and headache) which could have happened if you had
still
been in that angry mood.
Undoubtedly
, we go to parties to feel excited. The nice sounds produced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
makers foster the feeling of delight in parties and bring joy to the audience.

All types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
whether traditional or international have the same amount of importance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
every one of them has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
proper place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or play.
For instance
, in case of a soldier waiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the advent of the battle, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
appropriate to hear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultural morale-raising kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it enhances performance and increases the chances of winning.

However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is required
to
be utilized
in an advertisement through an international TV channel to promote
for example
a brand of perfume, then it is crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to attract as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
followers as possible.

In conclusion
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is indispensable in our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the roles that it plays in our health and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations. All kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is nice and needed providing that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
correctly
in the proper situation.

Various not variant
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay With the great development of technology during the last century, various kinds of music have emerged. Music becomes so essential that we hear it almost every single day.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    What is significance of academic debates? Narrate for argument with necessary point and denote with negative or positive factors contributing to the given topic.
    These days, academic arguments had vital impact on providing opportunities for individual. There are numerous positive outcomes that can be achieved from educational debating but there are also possible harmful effects connected to it. One of the advantages of academic debates is people gained awar...
  • 6band
    Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
    We also have to take into account the music that is used in the film, as it barely hints, so it makes the atmosphere continue to be suspenseful. We only have a moment in which we hear some sounds of violins, violas and cellos that warn us that something serious may happen. All these elements are typ...
  • 5.5band
    Animal testing for cosmetic should be banned.
    Before 1938, there was no technique or law to regulate the safety of cosmetic, so that animal experimentation was used as an effective way to test and determine the safety of products before the cosmetic was sold. According to Human Society International (2013), two hundred and thousand animals have...
  • 6band
    Discuss about positive and negative affect of tourists
    Annually many tourists everywhere in the world and travel to the whole of the Earth we want to discuss about the positive and negative impact of The Tourists nowadays every country in the world depending on the tourists that meaning they don't have any any industry and economic jobs to do and touris...
  • 6band
    Please state your reasons for wishing to undertake this programme?
    In my final year at Hanoi-Amsterdam High School, by working on a science project to compete in the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair, I had a chance to conduct hand-on experiments on filtering bacteria in water and thus gradually grew my passion for biology and health sciences. Later,...
  • 5.5band
    What are the major problem in city and how can the government deal with it
    An increasing number of people are moving to large metropolises in the hope of a better future. However, city life brings many difficulties for people. Some arduous in the city include: traffic congestion and high cost of living. In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life for...