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To what extend do you agree or disagree with the following statement Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Write an essay to present your ideas. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant examples if necessary

with the following statement Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Write an essay to present your ideas. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant examples if necessary nxpeP
It is consider that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high salary even if it does not appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this idea and think that job satisfaction is more essential than money. First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a feeling of comfort and happiness that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is well paid, but feeling stressed and tired makes him unable to concentrate on his work. This person will not enjoy his life. While pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of researchers or scientists made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That is why it is more important choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at high quality. Secondly, doing what you love keeps you motivated and therefore leads to a promotion at work. In other words, there is strong relation between job satisfaction and productivity. A study by economists at the university of Warwick found that happy employees were 12% more productive while dissatisfied workers proved 10% less productive. If employees feel bored and undervalued, it will affect their performance. The satisfaction and motivation will drive them to be more successful and work harder in their field. For instance, Jeff Bezos decided to leave his everyday job when he was 30 years old despite a good wage and ventured to become a businessman. And after enduring years of ups and downs he become one of the richest man in the world with the world’s largest e-commerce site ( Amazon). Thus, job satisfaction that keep you confident to handle with problems when you work and achieve better results. To sum up, I strongly believed that job satisfaction is more crucial than high salary. Because it makes people comfort, happy and motivated.
It is
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
that it is more advantageous to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with high salary even if it does not appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more essential than money.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a feeling of comfort and happiness that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is well paid,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and tired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him unable to concentrate on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This person will not enjoy his life. While pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
researchers or scientists made their career choices not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of appealing wages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were passionate about science.
That is
why it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
choose the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy than to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at high quality.

Secondly
, doing what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
you motivated and
therefore
leads to a promotion at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
In other words
, there is strong relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and productivity. A study by economists at the university of Warwick found that happy employees were 12% more productive while dissatisfied workers proved 10% less productive. If employees feel bored and undervalued, it will affect their performance. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and motivation will drive them to be more successful and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder in their field.
For instance
, Jeff Bezos decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
when he was 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
despite a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
wage and ventured to become a businessman. And after enduring years of ups and downs he become one of the richest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in the world with the world’s largest e-commerce site
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
Amazon).
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you confident to handle with problems when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and achieve better results.

To sum up, I
strongly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is more crucial than high salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
comfort, happy and motivated.
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IELTS essay with the following statement Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Write an essay to present your ideas. Give reasons for your answers and provide relevant examples if necessary

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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