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With the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 year ago

With the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 year ago mLwGn
Scientific advancement has lead the pupils to a life which is totally changed from the ancient people life. This transformation is because of technology and it’s gadgets. This has brought children to a futures life, while it can be solved by using scientific tools wisely. To commence with technology and technological gadgets are growing or upgrading day by day because today’s generation has been using it wisely. The first and the foremost cause of this problem is that people indulge is using gadgets. To cite and epitome, the survey was been conducted by Oxford university phones for a long period of time out of which 50% of children get trained from the social application. The other contributing reason is that people do not follow ancient people’s rituals and norms. They thought it as old. To Exemplify London University did a survey Resulted that 20% Of the children do not follow there old ones rules Instead they do the work According to their wishes. To tackle this problem, people must take Serious steps To curb out this Issue because if In future, it Will not get reduced Then it will make big Problem for everyone. Firstly children must Use technology for a short Period of time. sometimes, technology use it in wrong way which is not a good thing. In this way they get their whole concentration in doing that wrong taste. To exemplify, a survey conducted by sohrab school in 2016 at india resulted that 70% of the teenagers use their cell phones wrongly. It was seen that they tent to use it wrongly. So parents should stop them or reduce their phone's using hours. Writing the compendium, this problem has been Rising everyday children must taught to follow theirs rules and norms. There the use of cellphones must be reduced or limited. The government public and parents must come forward to curb out this grave situation.
Scientific advancement has lead the pupils to a life which is
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from the ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life. This transformation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and it’s gadgets. This has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "futures'" or "future's"?
futures
life, while it can
be solved
by using scientific tools
wisely
. To commence with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and technological gadgets are growing or upgrading day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation has been using it
wisely
. The
first
and the foremost cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
indulge is using gadgets. To cite and epitome, the survey
Did you mean "was" or "has been"?
was been
conducted by Oxford university phones for a long period of time out of which 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trained from the social application. The other contributing reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not follow ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
rituals and norms. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. To Exemplify London University did a survey Resulted that 20% Of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not follow there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
Instead
they do the work According to their wishes. To tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take Serious steps To curb out this Issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, it Will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
Then it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Problem
for everyone.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
for a short Period of time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sometimes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing. In this way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their whole concentration in doing that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
taste. To exemplify, a survey conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
sohrab
school in 2016 at
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
resulted that 70% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their cell phones
wrongly
. It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that they tent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
wrongly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their phone's using hours. Writing the compendium, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has been Rising everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
taught to follow theirs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and norms. There the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cellphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
or limited. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
public and parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to curb out this grave situation.
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IELTS essay With the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 year ago

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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