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Should governmet take care of retired people

Should governmet take care of retired people 8xqMB
In the contemporary world there is a big question about who should take care of the retired - the government or the relatives. I hold the opinion that the government should look after the retired and I will present my arguments below. To begin with, the retired people do not work any more, thetefore they can not earn money to provide themselves with necessities, so the government should pay the retitees pension to enable them to buy food and clothrs and other necrssary yhings. To continue with, the retited are mostly elderly and they have a lot of health problems, consequently they need assistance from the government such as healyh ensurance to cover their medical treatment and othrr medical expences. Last but not least, in the modern world children no longer live with their parents, so the elderly may need everyday help with shopping and other chores. To solve this issue some governments use the aid of volunteets or social workers who do such yasks for the retired. All the above problems have become more apparent and ptessing during Covid 19 pandemic, when the retired, who are mostly thr elderly, are the most susceptable group of society and need tenfold attention and care. To sum up, it can be said that in today"s world when the retired people mostly live alone and face a lot of problems, which they can not solve independently, the governmemt should step in and take care of the eldrrly citizrns.
In the contemporary world there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
question about who should take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or the relatives. I hold the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
and I will present my arguments below. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not work
Did you mean the adverb "anymore"?
any more
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thetefore
they can not earn money to provide themselves with necessities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay the
Possible spelling mistake found.
retitees
pension to enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food and
Possible spelling mistake found.
clothrs
and other
Possible spelling mistake found.
necrssary
Possible spelling mistake found.
yhings
. To continue with, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
retited
are
mostly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
elderly and
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health problems,
consequently
they need assistance from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
healyh
Possible spelling mistake found.
ensurance
to cover their medical treatment and
Possible spelling mistake found.
othrr
medical
Possible spelling mistake found.
expences
. Last
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but
not least, in the modern world children no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the elderly may need everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with shopping and other chores. To solve this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the aid of
Possible spelling mistake found.
volunteets
or social workers who do such
Possible spelling mistake found.
yasks
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
. All the above problems have become more apparent and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ptessing
during
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
pandemic, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
, who are
mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
thr
elderly, are the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
susceptable
group of society and need tenfold attention and care. To sum up, it can
be said
that in
The double quotation mark seems incorrect here.
today"s
world when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone and face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems, which they can not solve
independently
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
governmemt
should step in and take care of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldrrly
Possible spelling mistake found.
citizrns
.
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IELTS essay Should governmet take care of retired people

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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