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Some people think that university education is more important to find a job while some believe that it is important to have the practical to do a job. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

Some people think that university education is more important to find a job while some believe that it is important to have the practical to do a job. 26WYJ
It is taught by some that university education is the best way to get a good job but some claim that getting experience and developing soft skill is more important. There are opposing views on both sides which will be discussed below. Some people believe that university education is the best way to get a good job. Firstly, they claim that the certifications that they get from university when they graduate is the big affected card in finding jobs. It is true that graduated people are more eligible for consideration of admission in companies and other work places than normal people who just pass high school. So they feel that job opportunities between people who have university education and people who don’t have is huge. Secondly, they believe that young people must just do their job which is studying when they’re young. Since the time when people pass high school is not old enough to certainly do jobs people should focus more on education rather than jobs. They also add that people should invest their time on university to have better education after high school. It will provide them for their future. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skill is more important. They feel that getting job will provide family’s income and also have experience. Since the money is undeniably important for life, they also add that developing soft skills by doing jobs is better for both individual and the whole family. And they also believe that poor families will struggle if they continue to learn. They think that people should spend time first on working, find money and support family. In conclusion, I accept that getting experience and developing soft skill is important too but having considered both sides of the arguments university education is essential and the most important thing to get a good job.
It
is taught
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. There are opposing views on both sides which will
be discussed
below.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Firstly
, they claim that the certifications that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
when they graduate is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
card in finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. It is true that graduated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more eligible for consideration of admission in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and other work places than normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pass high school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they feel that
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job
opportunities between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
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people
who don’t have is huge.
Secondly
, they believe that young
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do their
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job
which is studying when they’re young. Since the time when
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people
pass high school is not
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old
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enough
to
certainly
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rather
than
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jobs
. They
also
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add
that
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people
should invest their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
after high school. It will provide them for their future.

On the other hand
, other
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. They feel that getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will provide family’s income and
also
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. Since the money is
undeniably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for life, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is better for both individual and the whole family. And they
also
believe that poor families will struggle if they continue to learn. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend time
first
on working, find money and support family.

In conclusion
, I accept that getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having considered both sides of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "arguments'" or "argument's"?
arguments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is essential and the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that university education is more important to find a job while some believe that it is important to have the practical to do a job.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that university education is more important to find a job while some believe that it is important to have the practical to do a job. Discuss both view and give your opinion?