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With the development of technology and science, some people believe that there is no great value of artists such as musicians and painters. What are the things artists can do but the scientist cannot? Should art be encouraged more?

With the development of technology and science, some people believe that there is no great value of artists such as musicians and painters. What are the things artists can do but the scientist cannot? Should art be encouraged more? xqkw
There are several things which is only made by sensitive people and these things make people more enthusiasm because it is created only by artist. That is why we feel it is more special than science. People who believe these skills are more important than science is tend to focus on the art. However, it doesn’t mean we should encourage Art for everyone. When we were child we usually have a various class such as Art or Sports or Science However, we probably felt people have different talent so they have their own strength. and some of them received bad score in terms of Art or Music. Probably it is torture to force to do these things. thus, it is more consider to individual talent not for everyone. On the other hand, Art is more easy to approach and enjoy. Science can’t treatment to our mental or mind problems however, Art is can be helpful for mental and mind. Therefore I would say these aspects are more useful than science for people. To sum up, I totally agree with we should know importance of Art and encourage to many people for positive aspect. However, I don’t think it should be forced to people which is not interested in these subject. We should respect to our individual talent.
There are several things which is
only
made by sensitive
people
and these things
make
people
more enthusiasm
because
it
is created
only
by artist.
That is
why we feel it is more special than
science
.
People
who believe these
skills
are more
important
than
science
is
tend
to focus on the art.

However
, it doesn’t mean we should encourage
Art
for everyone. When we were child we
usually
have a various
class
such as
Art
or Sports or
Science
However
, we
probably
felt
people
have
different
talent
so
they have their
own
strength.
and
some
of them received
bad
score in terms of
Art
or Music.
Probably
it is torture to force to do these things.
thus
, it is more consider to individual talent not for everyone.

On the other hand
,
Art
is more easy to approach and enjoy.
Science
can’t treatment to our mental or mind problems
however
,
Art
is can be helpful for mental and mind.
Therefore
I would say these aspects are more useful than
science
for
people
.

To sum up, I
totally
agree
with we should know importance of
Art
and encourage to
many
people
for
positive
aspect.
However
, I don’t
think
it should
be forced
to
people
which is not interested in these subject. We should respect to our individual talent.
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IELTS essay With the development of technology and science, some people believe that there is no great value of artists such as musicians and painters. What are the things artists can do but the scientist cannot? Should art be encouraged more?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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