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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? aOrw
It is believed by many that people from different backgrounds and generations can be bought together through music. I strongly agree with the above statement as I believe everyone loves and enjoys music. There are three main reasons why some people believe that music can bring people closer. Firstly, Almost everyone enjoys good music. People of all ages have shown their love towards it. Hence, it can be considered as a common ground to connect everyone. Secondly, everyone now has access to songs of every language, so even when they can't speak the language and understand the lyrics, they can associate with the tunes and rhythms. For instance, many Americans love the beats and rhythm of Indian songs even when they don't speak the language. Lastly, sharing music is very personal. When people can't seem to connect through words, they use music to understand each other. Every culture has its melodies and type of music, sharing this forms a bond between people irrespective of age and background. On the other hand, there could be some shortcomings too. First and foremost being, different taste in music. There are a variety of genres of songs. Some might like calm and peaceful while others could enjoy loud music such as electronic songs. Additionally, the younger generation often loves energised music while older ones sometimes can't connect to such songs as they might be more familiar with old classical ones. Furthermore, music is not 100% a good idea to bring people together as not all people show love for it. Although there are some drawbacks of using music as fail safe to connect people, I strongly agree it is the best option to initiate bonding with different people. Understanding and enjoying different music tastes of people is one way to form meaningful relationships. It allows us to understand the other person more deeply and at the same time exposes us to new songs, which otherwise we wouldn't have come across. In conclusion, I strongly agree that music can bridge the gap between people from different backgrounds and experiences.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds and generations can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
together through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement as I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
and enjoys music.

There are three main reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer.
Firstly
, Almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
enjoys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of all ages have shown their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
towards it.
Hence
, it can
be considered
as a common ground to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has access to songs of every language,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
even when they can't speak the language and understand the lyrics, they can associate with the tunes and rhythms.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Americans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
the beats and rhythm of Indian songs even when they don't speak the language.
Lastly
, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can't seem to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
through words, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to understand each other.

Every culture has its melodies and type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, sharing this forms a bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irrespective of age and background.

On the other hand
, there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shortcomings too.
First
and foremost being,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
taste in music.

There are a variety of genres of songs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might like calm and peaceful while others could enjoy loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as electronic songs.
Additionally
, the younger generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
loves
Possible spelling mistake. 'energised' is British English.
energised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
while older ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
to such songs as they might be more familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
classical ones.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not 100% a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together as not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
for it.

Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
fail safe
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it is the best option to initiate bonding with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Understanding and enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
tastes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is one way to form meaningful relationships. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to understand the other person more
deeply
and at the same time exposes us to new songs, which
otherwise
we wouldn't have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bridge the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds and experiences.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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