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With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem v.1

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem v. 1
Nowadays the development of internet access and socialization is counted as the highest ranked achievement, never counting the potential risk it can bring with it. There are several causes for this alarming trend, but measures can be taken to help resolve this on going and growing danger. This potential danger is caused by several factors. One factor that is certainly the cause of this issue, it is the lack of strict age restrictions for the usage of specific sites. Naturally, it means that any person of any age, can access any site or app without even being checked for age. Another reason is that young adults and children are introduced to the internet and modern technology from a very young age. It is an undeniable fact that everything we use is somehow related to technology, even 3 year olds know how to unlock a phone without properly knowing the numbers. Those children are distracted by the cartoons their parents let them watch, which consequently causes those children to use the apps and pages they were not 8meant to use at that age. Fortunately there are several solutions to help resolve the issue. One way to fix this issue would be for the websites to have a strict age restriction. This means that the website should confirm the age of the user before allowing access. And my final solution is encouraging parents to introduce the technology to their children as late as possible by letting them go outside and spend time with their friends in the real world, not a virtual one. In conclusion, it is an undeniable fact that there may be more vivid solutions to resolve the issue but I strongly believe that the ones listed above should do the job.
Nowadays the development of internet access and socialization
is counted
as the highest ranked achievement, never counting the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
it can bring with it. There are several causes for this alarming trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
measures can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
resolve this on going and growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

This potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
is caused
by several factors. One factor
that is
certainly
the cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, it is the lack of strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
restrictions for the usage of specific sites.
Naturally
, it means that any person of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, can access any site or app without even being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Another reason is that young adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are introduced
to the internet and modern technology from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. It is an undeniable fact that everything we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is somehow related to technology, even
It seems that hyphens are missing
3 year olds
know how to unlock a phone without
properly
knowing the numbers. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are distracted
by the cartoons their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, which
consequently
causes those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the apps and pages they were not 8meant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
at that age.

Fortunately
there are several solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. One way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
would be for the websites to have a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
restriction. This means that the website should confirm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the user
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
allowing access. And my final solution is encouraging parents to introduce the technology to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as late as possible by letting them go outside and spend time with their friends in the real world, not a virtual one.

In conclusion
, it is an undeniable fact that there may be more vivid solutions to resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
strongly
believe that the ones listed above should do the job.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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