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With the development of modern society is the less of traditional ways of life. Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved? v.1

With the development of modern society is the less of traditional ways of life. Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved? v. 1
People are witnessing and enjoying the exponential expansion of online shopping in recent years. Therefore, it is believed that physical stores shutdown is inevitable. I personally disagree with this idea. Firstly, physical shop possesses some unique features that all online shopping platforms can never achieve. By visiting stores, consumers are utterly able to touch and feel the product they are intending to purchase. For example, buyer most likely to come and contemplate with their raw eyes the dinner table that they are planning to buy rather than previewing it via picture from website and shopping applications. On top of that, it is impossible to shop clothes online if the brand is new to the consumer. The size range may vary from one fashion brand to another. For instance, a gentleman may be fit into a medium size Levi’s polo whilst he just needs a small size one when it comes to Lacoste. Secondly, traditional shopping may provide various shopping experience. Some people prefer window shopping in huge malls rather than surfing marketplace platforms online. Therefore, they can make purchases whenever they want at their convenience. Another perk is that the way of shopping is also a superb chance for a family outing. All family members can spend time together and have intimate communication with each other which has lacked among most modern families these days. In conclusion, although the booming development of online shopping is undeniable these days, I strongly believe that the role of traditional shopping with physical stores remains irreplaceable in the future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are witnessing and enjoying the exponential expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in recent years.
Therefore
, it
is believed
that physical
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "stores'" or "store's"?
stores
shutdown is inevitable. I
personally
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Firstly
, physical shop possesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unique features that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
platforms can never achieve. By visiting stores, consumers are
utterly
able to touch and feel the product they are intending to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
For example
, buyer most likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and contemplate with their raw eyes the dinner table that they are planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
rather
than previewing it via picture from website and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
applications.
On top of that
, it is impossible to shop clothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
if the brand is new to the consumer. The size range may vary from one fashion brand to another.
For instance
, a gentleman may
be fit
into a medium size Levi’s polo whilst he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needs a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
size one when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to Lacoste.

Secondly
, traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
may provide various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer window
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in huge malls
rather
than surfing marketplace platforms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Therefore
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
whenever they want at their convenience. Another perk is that the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
also
a superb chance for a family outing. All family members can spend time together and have intimate communication with each other which has lacked among most modern families these days.

In conclusion
, although the booming development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is undeniable these days, I
strongly
believe that the role of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with physical stores remains irreplaceable in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay With the development of modern society is the less of traditional ways of life. Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life? How can this be achieved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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