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With the development of modern society is the less of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life How can this be achieved v.1

With the development of modern society is the less of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life How can this be achieved v. 1
In modern society, there are full of opportunities for people to improve when they live in big metropolis; however, countless of difficulties among the city affects its people. In my mind, government can make policies and campaigns in order to help them. Many reasons can be accounted to trigger the exploit for dwellers, such as high cost of living. Citizens may overwork themselves to have a decent life in the city, including housing, transport and food. Moreover, it is annoying to live along with crimes, traffic congestions and many social problems that people have to suffer daily, which life in rural areas is not displayed at a large number. Air pollution can be counted for causes makes cities a tough accommodation as a growing amount of toxic gas emissions from vehicles with CFCs from air conditioners, put citizens at a higher risk of respiratory illness such as asthma attacks, lung cancers. . . It is traumatic to list out the issues, but authorities can take part in the solution to this by many actions. Firstly, investing money in cheap or social housing is a significant way to reduce the living costs. Second thing is to ban private vehicles or to apply peak-hour tolls in crowded areas in the cities. Many countries, like Australia, for instance, have superb policymakers that have already done the lawsuits and the results is that pollution is reduced in cities, which improve the air quality. Furthermore, people in rural places can have a good occupation if the local government sets out to develop provincial industries that is suitable for the areas. By doing that, there will be less pressure to put on metropolis. In conclusion, there are various ways to make a better life in cities, and people will find it easier and comfortable as the government enhances the quality of its city residents.
In modern society, there are full of opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
metropolis;
however
,
Do not use "of" after "countless". Did you mean "countless difficulties"?
countless of difficulties
among the city affects its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my mind,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
policies and campaigns in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reasons can
be accounted
to trigger the exploit for dwellers, such as high cost of living. Citizens may overwork themselves to have a decent life in the city, including housing, transport and food.
Moreover
, it is annoying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
along with crimes, traffic congestions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer daily, which life in rural areas is not displayed at a large number. Air pollution can
be counted
for causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "tough accommodation".
a tough accommodation
as a growing amount of toxic gas emissions from vehicles with
Possible spelling mistake found.
CFCs
from air conditioners, put citizens at a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of respiratory illness such as asthma attacks, lung cancers.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


It is traumatic to list out the issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
authorities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the solution to this by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actions.
Firstly
, investing money in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
or social housing is a significant way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the living costs. Second thing is to ban private vehicles or to apply peak-hour tolls in crowded areas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries, like Australia,
for instance
, have superb policymakers that have already done the lawsuits and the results is that pollution is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the air quality.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural places can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
occupation if the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sets out to develop provincial industries
that is
suitable for the areas. By doing that, there will be less pressure to put on metropolis.

In conclusion
, there are various ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better life in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find it easier and comfortable as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enhances the quality of its city residents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay With the development of modern society is the less of traditional ways of life Is it important to keep our traditional ways of life How can this be achieved v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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