Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

with the development of medical technology, the life expectancy of the aging population is increasing

with the development of medical technology, the life expectancy of the aging population is increasing VEME7
In this day and age, with the development of medical technology, it makes people life better. However, the life expectancy of the aging population is increasing and it causes a wide array of consequences to society. This essay will analyze and suggest possible solutions to handle it. The main cause leading to this trouble is the quality of life. Firstly, with the development of technology, especially the health care system people can take all of that advantage to live longer. Since everything is very convenient, people who have an illness can go to the hospital and the doctor will treat it well, even the deadly disease like Black Death it not big trouble nowadays, people who have symptoms of this diseases with help of medical technology can recover without pain. However, by the change it causes overpopulation all over the world, a wide array of people still born causing to the lack of necessities. According to some previous studies, they show that in China because of overpopulation people compete for every single piece of food and water. More than that, if this obstacle keeping it will reduce the life quality in the future. Although, the life expectancy of the aging population is increasing and causes a large number of consequences. However, there are still have a key to solving this problem. Realized the big consequences it can make, government in each nations have legislate a safeguard that a single couple should born one to two children. Nevertheless, it does not effective, so that the government should readjust the rule instead of encouraging people. Besides that, the government ought to organize many event to increase the awarness of civilization, make them know the trouble if they born too much and especially focus on remote area as the information in this region hardly to access. In conclusion, with the development of medical technology, the life expectancy of the aging population is increasing and causes a large number of consequences. However, there are still have a solutions such as family planning and increase awarness of people.
In this day and age, with the development of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
better.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of the aging population is increasing and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
a wide array of
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
society. This essay will analyze and suggest possible solutions to handle it.

The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
leading to this trouble is the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, with the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
especially
the health care system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take all of that advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. Since everything is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have an illness can go to the hospital and the doctor will treat it well, even the deadly disease like Black Death it not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
trouble nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have symptoms of
Did you mean "these"?
this
diseases with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can recover without pain.
However
, by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
overpopulation all over the world, a wide array of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
born causing to the lack of necessities. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
previous studies, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that in China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of overpopulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compete for every single piece of food and water. More than that, if this obstacle keeping it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality in the future.

Although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of the aging population is increasing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
consequences.
However
, there are
still
have a key to solving this problem. Realized the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
consequences it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "nation"?
nations
have
Use past participle here: "legislated".
legislate
a safeguard that a single couple should
Did you mean "have born" or "bear"?
born
one to two children.
Nevertheless
, it does not effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should readjust the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
instead
of encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Besides
that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to organize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
to increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
of civilization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them know the trouble if they
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "bore"?
born
too much and
especially
focus on remote area as the information in this region hardly to access.

In conclusion
, with the development of medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy of the aging population is increasing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
consequences.
However
, there are
still
have
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a solution" or simply "solutions"?
a solutions
such as family planning and increase
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay with the development of medical technology, the life expectancy of the aging population is increasing

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts