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with the advanced technology, so a lot of people suppose that

with the advanced technology, so a lot of people suppose that gAGaD
Nowadays, with the advanced technology, so a lot of people suppose that it made shopping is easier for us, while others think it does not bring us merits at all. From my perspective, I strongly believe that this ongoing phenomenon has an advantageous effect on our lives. On the one hand, because of the technological development and the growth of purchasing demand, the advent of the Internet and smartphones have met the enormous demand. These advanced technologies have made shopping online more accessible and also affordable prices. Tiki, for example, is an e-commerce site that provides multiproduct so that buyers would have more opportunities and it even makes the market more competitive. Purchasers could qualify products, suiting their budget most. Hairdryer, for instance, there is a variety of providers, which offer affordable prices, leading to cost-effectiveness. Furthermore, shopping online could save a large amount of time, and thus online buyers do not be forced to buy something, not beneficial to them. On the one hand, there are still some people who think that it does not help us too much, so its drawbacks are undeniable. Because there is a wide range of productions, it is difficult for them to evaluate the quality of the products precisely. For example, a lot of fraudulent cases have been confirmed by the customers, resulting in the loss of money. In addition, these customers will spend a large amount of time because of their hesitation. To deal with it, however, e-commercial platforms have been being upgraded to be more convenient. In conclusion, although some think that shopping online does not support us too much, I believe that it brings a lot of benefits as well as maximizing our time.
Nowadays, with the advanced technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suppose that it made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is easier for us, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it does not bring us merits at all. From my perspective, I
strongly
believe that this ongoing phenomenon has an advantageous effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technological development and the growth of purchasing demand, the advent of the Internet and smartphones have met the enormous demand. These advanced technologies have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
more accessible and
also
affordable prices.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiki
,
for example
, is an e-commerce site that provides multiproduct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that buyers would have more opportunities and it even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the market more competitive. Purchasers could qualify products, suiting their budget most. Hairdryer,
for instance
, there is a variety of providers, which offer affordable prices, leading to cost-effectiveness.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
could save a large amount of time, and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
buyers do not
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something, not beneficial to them.

On the one hand, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us too much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its drawbacks are undeniable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there is a wide range of productions, it is difficult for them to evaluate the quality of the products
precisely
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fraudulent cases have
been confirmed
by the customers, resulting in the loss of money.
In addition
, these customers will spend a large amount of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their hesitation. To deal with it,
however
, e-commercial platforms have been
being upgraded
to be more convenient.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
does not support us too much, I believe that it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits
as well
as maximizing our time.
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IELTS essay with the advanced technology, so a lot of people suppose that

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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