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With improvement in technology, it is believed that the lifestyle of the younger generation has changed immensely over the half-century

With improvement in technology, it is believed that the lifestyle of the younger generation has changed immensely over the half-century XDKkA
With improvement in technology, it is believed that the lifestyle of the younger generation has changed immensely over the half-century. Although it changes the community and family to some extent, it incredibly improves the lifestyle of the juvenile. The benefits and drawbacks are discussed in the below essay for the same. To begin with, the update in technology made it easy to connect with family and friends around the world over the internet, this made parents send their children abroad to pursue higher education and to grow professionally, in other words, this opened boundaries to the young people to acquire knowledge and spread the business overseas this inturn develops of the residents and nation. To illustrate, India is called the start-up hub due to globalization and foreign investment from the past decade. On the other hand, new innovations make the community more practical, this separates the families and children from the love and affection. The young generation these days do not have time for each other to socialize as much as earlier following the dreams this makes them alone also depressed. Many youths are committing suicide at an early age due to the same. For instance, according to recent research, the suicide rate has increased to 20 percent over the 10 years, we are reading below 10 years juveniles are mentally ill due to the pressure on them from the societies. To summarise, the advancement of technology has given us lavish life over the years but also making us robots without any sympathy for other human beings. The children are running after the success with technology updates.
With improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it
is believed
that the lifestyle of the younger generation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
immensely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the half-century. Although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
the community and family to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it
incredibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the lifestyle of the juvenile. The benefits and drawbacks
are discussed
in the below essay for the same.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the update in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
made it easy to connect with family and friends around the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the internet, this made parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children abroad to pursue higher education and to grow
professionally
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, this opened boundaries to the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to acquire knowledge and spread the business overseas this
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
develops of the residents and nation. To illustrate, India
is called
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up hub due to globalization and foreign investment from the past decade.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, new innovations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the community more practical, this separates the families and children from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection. The young generation these days do not have time for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to socialize as much as earlier following the dreams this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them alone
also
depressed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youths are committing suicide at an early age due to the same.
For instance
, according to recent research, the suicide rate has increased to 20 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the 10 years, we are reading below 10 years juveniles are mentally ill due to the pressure on them from the societies.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us lavish life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
making us robots without any sympathy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
human beings. The children are running after the success with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
updates.
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IELTS essay With improvement in technology, it is believed that the lifestyle of the younger generation has changed immensely over the half-century

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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