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With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? DloVk
With population growth in cities many people are living in houses that as little or no outdoor space. In my opinion this has both positive and negative development. Because when living in a house with little space you get to interact more with your family members. This builds a stronger relationship with family. More interactions happens and you doesn't feel like you were alone. Example during lunch/dinner time, since there is no space all the family members can have there lunch/dinner at one place. Whereas when coming to house with lot of space, you get your own space and individuality. Having your own space is a positive development because you will have your own thoughts and own time. Example if you need to study, you do need to have focus and concentration, and this can be achieved if you have your own room. Also extra outdoor space helps you to play sports and have fun which gives us the health benefits. So when you have a spacious house you can get this type of facilities. So, according to me when people live in homes with little or no outdoor space has both positive and negative development.
With population growth in cities
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
that as
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little
or no outdoor
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space
. In my opinion this has both
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positive
and
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negative
development.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
when living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
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space
you
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get
to interact more with your family members. This builds a stronger relationship with family. More interactions happens and you
The pronoun 'you' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "don't"
doesn't
feel like you were alone. Example during lunch/dinner time, since there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
all the family members can have there
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "lunched".
lunch
/dinner at one place.

Whereas when coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
with
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
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space
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and individuality. Having your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
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because
you will have your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time. Example if you need to study, you do need to have focus and concentration, and this can
be achieved
if you have your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
room.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
extra outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to play sports and have fun which gives us the health benefits.
“So when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So when
you have a spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this type of facilities.

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So
, according to me when
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in homes with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

IELTS essay With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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