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with growing population in in cities more and more people live in a little or no outdoor spaces. discuss according to you is it a negative or a positive development

with growing population in in cities more and more people live in a little or no outdoor spaces. discuss according to you is it a negative or a positive development BlX35
In the cities there is an increase in the people living causing to densely populated cities and every person living in the cities at their homes either have a small or do not have an outdoor space. this according to me has become a development that is negative. moreover people should live in an open space that it has an outdoor space two cities are becoming densely populated, as there is a tremendous amount of change in human population for past couple of years which are leading people to live in a house that has a very less or minute space outside the house causing a negative development. for instance, problems such as obesity and cardiac issues can become a severe common disease as the people living there are hardly common disease as the people living there are hardly go out from house into open air as there are hardly any space outside. people should live in a space that has an outside space included, which can help those people to live a healthy and fruitful life that in today today's world is very important because of so many disease. as an illustration if people will have an outdoor space they can do various physical activities to remain fit and secure from deadly disease. to conclude, I would like more of an outdoor space and fresh air then known outdoor space in order to remain healthy and fit.
In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
there is an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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living
causing to
densely
populated
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cities
and every person
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living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
at their homes either have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or do not have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
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space
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
according to me has become a development
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
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people
should
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live
in an open
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space
that it has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are becoming
densely
populated, as there is a tremendous amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in human population for past couple of years which are leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
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live
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less or minute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
outside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
causing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, problems such as obesity and cardiac issues can become a severe common
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disease
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there are hardly common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
there are hardly go out from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
into open air as there are hardly any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
outside.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
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space
that has an outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
included, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
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people
to
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live
a healthy and fruitful life that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world is
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
an illustration if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
they can do various physical activities to remain fit and secure from deadly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude, I would like more of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
and fresh air then known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
in order to remain healthy and fit.
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IELTS essay with growing population in in cities more and more people live in a little or no outdoor spaces. discuss according to you is it a negative or a positive development

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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