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Do you agree or disagree with cultural diversity in the international companies?

with cultural diversity in the international companies? r1YBJ
Today, we can enjoy the task of using an Acer laptop, shopping through Shopee, and doing many things using products from multinational companies, including eating the BTS Meal that is happening. Technological developments and rapid globalization have made all of this possible. The company is now not only operating domestically, but also expanding its business to become a multinational company, both in physical buildings, human resources, as well as material and technological resources. Being a multinational company definitely does not escape cultural diversity, which means that the work environment is made up of people from different geographic, religious, linguistic and political backgrounds. Some argue that these differences will help support work-to-work and have a negative impact on the many companies that intelligently manage cultural diversity in the workplace. I agree and support cultural diversity because there are so many advantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, we can enjoy the task of using an Acer laptop, shopping through
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shopee
, and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things using products from multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, including eating the BTS Meal
that is
happening. Technological developments and rapid globalization have made all of this possible. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
operating
domestically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
expanding its business to become a multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, both in physical buildings, human resources,
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
material and technological resources. Being a multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
definitely does not escape cultural diversity, which means that the work environment
is made
up of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
geographic, religious, linguistic and political backgrounds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that these differences will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
support work-to-work and have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that
intelligently
manage cultural diversity in the workplace. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and support cultural diversity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
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IELTS essay with cultural diversity in the international companies?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
140 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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