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With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree?

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree? P6WE
In 21st century technology has been revolutionised the humankind completley, one such thing in today's modern world is the invention of internet and social media webisites. There is lot many of us rely on this technology for information but many children in todays genration are also exposed to many unwanted distarctions at their age. I agree that adults need to be more responsible towards granting permissions of the internet to their children. Firstly, in todays modern world internet has become the integral part of our lives so did in our childrens lives, It not only helps them get information about many things but also gives them pleasure in there free time. Lot many school kids I know are using internet to play games and browse social media for hours and loosing lot of quality time to spend with their family thus i would suggest parents need to control the permissions of the devices which their children use for this purposes so they are less distracted and more productive. For example, if i give a kid a phone to browse the internet i should set the time limit which is also called as 'screen time' so they dont spend hours on it. Secondly, social media webistes have turned into addicition for lot of teenagers, according to a recent survey 37 percent of the US youth spend 18 hours of their day on facebook and instagram which not only hurt there daily productivity but also need to face consequences when it comes to there well being the survey also projects that this kids might loose apetite for food and sleep. On the other hand they fall a prey to many internet scams and fake news articles which indulge and influnce them in a very neagtive way. In conclusion, I would say internet and social websites are best thing happend to us but getting addicted to it has lot of bigger consequences which you may regret later part of your life. Parents need to educate their children on striking a balance on the usage of these before they turn into vicitms and regret later.
In 21st century technology has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the humankind
Possible spelling mistake found.
completley
, one such thing in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world is the invention of internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
Possible spelling mistake found.
webisites
. There is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us rely on this technology for information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
Possible spelling mistake found.
genration
are
also
exposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unwanted
Possible spelling mistake found.
distarctions
at their age. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be more responsible towards granting permissions of the internet to their children.

Firstly
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
modern world internet has become the integral part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
did in our
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives them pleasure in there free time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
school kids I know are using internet to play games and browse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media for hours and loosing
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
quality time to spend with their family
thus
Did you mean "I"?
i
would suggest parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to control the permissions of the devices which their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for this purposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are less distracted and more productive.
For example
, if
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
give a kid a phone to browse the internet
Did you mean "I"?
i
should set the time limit which is
also
called as 'screen time'
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
spend hours on it.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
Possible spelling mistake found.
webistes
have turned into
Possible spelling mistake found.
addicition
for
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, according to a recent survey 37 percent of the US youth spend 18 hours of their day on
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hurt there daily productivity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to face consequences when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
Did you mean "their"?
there
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being


the survey
also
projects that this kids might
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
Possible spelling mistake found.
apetite
for food and sleep.
On the other hand
they fall a prey to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
internet scams and fake news articles which indulge and
Possible spelling mistake found.
influnce
them in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
neagtive
way.

In conclusion
, I would say internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
thing
Possible spelling mistake found.
happend
to us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
getting addicted to it has
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
bigger consequences which you may regret later part of your life. Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to educate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on striking a balance on the usage of these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they turn into
Possible spelling mistake found.
vicitms
and regret later.
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IELTS essay With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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