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Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older? 7j53
There is a type of parent who prefer to keep silence of their children by completing their wants instead of teaching and preparing them for real world. In this essay I will define consequences of this trend. Parents of this type are mostly are not trying to dissuade them, but just do what ever their ask. Mostly it is beginning from a greater thought, such as keep their child from harm and make him happy, but in reality, it leads to negative consequences. Children in such atmosphere are growing with out any challenge to overcome and because of it, they are not prepared to solve problems by themselves, every their need or will was immediately done by their parents so they do not even think about that they do something, they do not think about consequences and results of their actions. And as they grow older, they are not growing mentally and psychically, even in their 20’s they are still the same child as they were 10. Child, who only wants and can not do anything with any problem, but cry and call for parents. To conclude I think, that this type of parents who are serving their child as for god, are not doing great in long time perspective, such obviously bad method is doomed for negative results.
There is a type of parent who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
silence of their children by completing their wants
instead
of teaching and preparing them for real world. In this essay I will define consequences of this trend.

Parents of this type are
mostly
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
are
not trying to dissuade them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do what ever their ask.
Mostly
it is beginning from a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
from harm and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in reality, it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. Children in such atmosphere are growing
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
any challenge to overcome and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it, they are not prepared to solve problems by themselves,
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their need" or "every need"?
every their need
or will was immediately done by their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about that they do something, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about consequences and results of their actions. And as they grow older, they are not growing mentally and
psychically
, even in their
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "20s".
20’s
they are
still
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as they were 10.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wants and can not do anything with any problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cry and call for parents.

To conclude
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that this type of parents who are serving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as for god, are not doing great in long time perspective, such
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
method
is doomed
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results.
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IELTS essay Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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