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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. v. 2
It is argued that in the 21st century wild species such as lion, tiger, elephant, and monkey don not have any place and keeping them is a waste of resources such as money, land and time. This essay totally disagrees with this statement because killing naturals habitats will create a discrepancy on the environmental chain and they can be used for the benefits of humans. Nature has its own chain and killing its animal might destroy the balance of it. To keep our environment in a good living condition we need to have wild animals in their places such as forest. Destroying forest to make more land will create an imbalance in the environment and all these animals will come to our living places. Moreover, hunting them to show bravery will create a future shortage of this species and our next generation may see them on photos or in the museum. For example, we could take Dianosour, we can only see its fossil in the museum, photos or in a movie. Humans and wild animal can live together as they have been living from the beginning of the human era. Another reason why this essay disagrees with this statement is that humans have been using wild animals for their advantages. Whenever human needs to do some research, they take wild species to test. For instance, we could take the monkey Lyca who was the first life to send in the space when human were not sure about the outer space environment. Furthermore, researchers are using monkeys, Rabbits to achieve a serum for HIV and cancer. It is essential to have wild creatures for human’s benefits. In conclusion, it is not a waste of resources to protect wild animals in the modern 21st century. It brings the balance in nature and it is beneficial for human.
It
is argued
that in the 21st century wild species such as lion, tiger, elephant, and monkey
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
have any place and keeping them is a waste of resources such as money, land and time. This essay
totally
disagrees with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
killing naturals habitats will create a discrepancy on the environmental
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
chain and
they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the benefits of humans.

Nature has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
chain and killing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the balance of it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our environment in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living condition we need to have wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in their places such as forest. Destroying forest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more land will create an imbalance in the environment and all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our living places.
Moreover
, hunting them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
bravery will create a future shortage of this species and our
next
generation may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them on photos or in the museum.
For example
, we could take
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dianosour
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its fossil in the museum, photos or in a movie.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
and wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together as they have been living from the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
era.

Another reason why this essay disagrees with this statement is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have been using wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their advantages. Whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research, they take wild species to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
For instance
, we could take the monkey
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lyca
who was the
first
life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
in the space when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
were not sure about the outer space environment.
Furthermore
, researchers are using monkeys, Rabbits to achieve a serum for HIV and cancer. It is essential to have wild creatures for
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human benefits"?
human’s benefits
.

In conclusion
, it is not a waste of resources to protect wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the modern 21st century. It brings the balance in nature and it is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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