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Why you wish to follow your purposed program?

Why you wish to follow your purposed program? JoLXa
Why you wish to follow your purposed program? The reason why I wish to study in the medical education program is due to my learning and working experiences. While I studied as a medical student 13 years ago, I knew it was not easy to become a doctor so I gave my best effort and I did a great job. But not for some of my medical friends. In Thailand, it takes six years in medical school. The first three years of studying without patient and in another three years with the patient. Some medical students encountered plenty of problems such as a lack of positive feedbacks from the medical teacher, no one to talk to when in doubt, and no pain no gain culture. As a result, many medical students did not have a great experience in studying. At that time, I wish that if I am a medical teacher, I will make it better. Then after six years of studying, I worked as a general practitioner in a rural hospital in the northern part of Thailand for three years. Apart from treating my patients, I was assigned to teach nurse students, nurses, and other health care workers in various subjects (advanced life support, pediatric life support, etc. ). I was very proud to teach. That was my first inspiration to become a medical teacher. Nowadays, I am working as a general practitioner in the airport health center. I am assigned to teach both health care workers and other airport workers in medical issues. I think I have to improve my teaching skill and follow my dream to become a great medical teacher.
Why you wish to follow your purposed program?

The reason why I wish to study in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
education program is due to my learning and working experiences. While I studied as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
13 years ago, I knew it was not easy to become a doctor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I gave my best effort and I did a great job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
not for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
friends. In Thailand, it takes six years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
school. The
first
three years of studying without patient and in another three years with the patient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
encountered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems such as a lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedbacks from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher, no one to talk to when in doubt, and no pain no gain culture.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
did not have a great experience in studying. At that time, I wish that if I am a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it better.

Then after six years of studying, I worked as a general practitioner in a rural hospital in the northern part of Thailand for three years. Apart from treating my patients, I
was assigned
to teach nurse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, nurses, and other health care workers in various subjects (advanced life support, pediatric life support, etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud to teach. That was my
first
inspiration to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher.

Nowadays, I am working as a general practitioner in the airport health center. I
am assigned
to teach both health care workers and other airport workers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
issues. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and follow my dream to become a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
teacher.
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IELTS essay Why you wish to follow your purposed program?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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