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To what extent do you think government should be held responsible when problems of homelessness and unemployment arise?

To what extent do you think government should be held responsible when problems of homelessness and unemployment arise? 3axEn
It is evident that in this contemporary era, due to populatiin explosion many masses are not only reeling under the issue of lack of home but also lack of jobs. In this essay, I will delve why I consider government is far more resposible for this situation in my subsequent paragraphs along with relevant examples. To embark on, undoubtedly, we choose representatives for taking care of our rights. In democratic authority, people have a lot of trust in their ministers to provide them dwelling as well as work. However, they fail to work in this direction. In many developed nations, for instance, few people are suffering from these kinds of issues, otherwise, all people have residing place along with work. This only happen because they pay extreme attention public welfare rather than seeking their profit. Hence, It can be seen that people are confronted with problems of homelessness and employment due to government overlooked behaviour regarding individuals. However, people encounter this issue because of their wrong decision of electing political leaders. To elaborate it, it is commonly observed attitude in India that masses are associated them in particular party. So, they would like to cast the vote in favour of that party's leader whether he is corrupt or unfit for society's well-being. Eventually, these kinds of representative most often neglected public problem because they do not utilise the grants in public's benefit that they have received from central government. Thus, it has been seen that masse are responsible to some extent for their poor condition. In conclusion, policy maker has onus to resolve the matter of lack of home and provide work to its masses that can only be achieved when government have goid intention un direction rather than gainibg lucrative profits. At the same time, individual's choice of electing corrupt political leader has also contribute to this field where people have to live without house and work unwillingly.
It is evident that in this contemporary era, due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
populatiin
explosion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
masses are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reeling under the issue of lack of home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lack of jobs. In this essay, I will delve why I consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is far more
Possible spelling mistake found.
resposible
for this situation in my subsequent paragraphs along with relevant examples. To embark on,
undoubtedly
, we choose representatives for taking care of our rights. In democratic authority,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
trust in their ministers to provide them dwelling
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
However
, they fail to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in this direction. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed nations,
for instance
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from these kinds of issues,
otherwise
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have residing place along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they pay extreme attention public welfare
rather
than seeking their profit.
Hence
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are confronted
with problems of homelessness and employment due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
overlooked
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
regarding individuals.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encounter this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision of electing political leaders. To elaborate it, it is
commonly
observed attitude in India that masses
are associated
them
in particular
party.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they would like to cast the vote in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of that party's leader whether he is corrupt or unfit for society's well-being.
Eventually
, these kinds of representative most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
neglected public problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the grants in public's benefit that they have received from central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Thus
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
masse
are responsible to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent for their poor condition.
In conclusion
,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy maker
has onus to resolve the matter of lack of home and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to its masses that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be achieved
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
goid
intention
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
direction
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
gainibg
lucrative profits. At the same time, individual's choice of electing corrupt political leader has
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "contributed".
contribute
to this field where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
unwillingly
.
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IELTS essay To what extent do you think government should be held responsible when problems of homelessness and unemployment arise?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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