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why the arts are no longer considered as important as they were a few years ago.

why the arts are no longer considered as important as they were a few years ago. mW8aK
In this essay we will analyse why the arts are no longer considered as important as they were a few years ago. Several years ago a person who knew about arts was considered superior to others. Knowing how to manage this area was very complicated and complex, you had to have a very critical thinking, out of the ordinary, but not too much if not you could be labeled as crazy and you were in danger of being publicly stigmatized by society. Art is a reflection of human culture. If a country neglects the importance of this field, it can be very detrimental to its citizens and their education outside of other fields. Over the years society has changed this way of looking at these few people. Previously an artist was considered vital to society. They were trying to give a full meaning and explanation to life. With what they contributed, they transmitted feelings and messages, they made us reflect on what was being said. Today a businessman can do much more than an astronomer. An entrepreneur provides many benefits to society, such as jobs, helps the economy, provides various services to its workers and to society in general. Picasso contributed to a new artistic movement. Today he is remembered as such but knowledge of this style is not vital to society. On the other hand, what a businessman contributes today is extremely important. In conclusion, society's priorities are changing over the years, which leads us to see that an artist will not be considered the same as an entrepreneur. This does not mean that the arts are not important but show us that the world has changed its way of looking at this field.
In this essay we will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
why the arts are no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as they were a few years ago.

Several years ago a person who knew about arts was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
superior to others. Knowing how to manage this area was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated and complex, you had to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
critical thinking, out of the ordinary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not too much if not you could
be labeled
as crazy and you were in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of being
publicly
stigmatized by society.

Art is a reflection of human culture. If a country neglects the importance of this field, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental to its citizens and their education
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
other fields.

Over the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
this way of looking at these few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Previously an artist was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
vital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. They were trying to give a full meaning and explanation to life. With what they contributed, they transmitted feelings and messages, they made us reflect on what was
being said
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
a businessman can do much more than an astronomer. An entrepreneur provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, such as jobs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the economy, provides various services to its workers and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in general
.

Picasso contributed to a new artistic movement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
he
is remembered
as such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
knowledge of this style is not vital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
On the other hand
, what a businessman contributes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In conclusion
, society's priorities are changing over the years, which leads us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that an artist will not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
considered
the same as an entrepreneur. This does not mean that the arts are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us that the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
its way of looking at this field.
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IELTS essay why the arts are no longer considered as important as they were a few years ago.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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